Summer of Sorrow ✅

Ch. 23 Long Road Ahead

Drift’s P.O.V.
Jamie slowly relaxed as the week went by. I can’t say this is good because I fear this is going to happen every time we go back to her dimension and return. She’s still not talking much.
I lean on the railing as I watch the sunrise. I’m used to Crosshairs hugging me from behind.
“I’m worried about you,” he says close to my ear.
I know he’s worried about Jamie, but it’s different when you love them romantically.
“I can’t take watching her hurt, and I can’t do anything to make her happy. How long before she hates me? Us?”
I don’t care if I’m crying as Crosshairs hugs me.
“No, that will never happen. Jamie loves us... maybe a little too much,” I smile at his comment, “you know she’d be terrified if anything happened to us. Er.. uh... not like she doesn’t care about the others—.”
“I know what you mean,” I smile.
Crosshairs talks about what we’re going to do today. We’ve been able to go to the beach, though Jamie still only wants to sit with us. I’m hoping to get her into the water, and it’s better than staying in our room all day.
With a possible plan for the day, I go take a shower.

Crosshairs’ P.O.V.
I lay on my bed, watching Jamie. I think making her stay with us will help her, even if not right away. I don’t know why she refuses. We’re a better family for her. Can’t think about if we had Jamie stay with us sooner now.
I watch Jamie roll over and realize she’s crying. Because she’s trying to be quiet, I’m certain she’s awake. Still, I wasn’t expecting her to cry the second I sat on the bed. I only hope Drift isn’t rushing out of the shower now. I move her into my lap and hug her. I can tell this isn’t crying from a nightmare or that Drift isn’t around. I don’t know what to say, and it sucks knowing she’ll be crying again soon. I’m hoping we can turn this vacation around. I only feel a fraction of what Drift feels hearing her cry, but I hate it. All this emotional pain is frustration. Feeling like she’ll never get what she wants. How long before she gives up? Sure wanting a DNR in her file is a sign, but how long before she tries anything? I feel she will not react well if Drift and I explain that this isn’t helping her. We’ve learned that someone with depression — Autobot or human — struggles to think that what they’re saying or doing isn’t helping them. I need to wait for him before talking to her. I try to calm her down.

Drift didn’t shower for long before rushing to help me with Jamie. His hair is still wet. I know he hates there’s nothing we can do.
“I think it’s time to go home,” Drift claims.
“Would that be any different? I think being here is better, even if it’s taking a little time for her to relax.”
I know he means back to Jamie’s dimension, but that will worsen her mental state. Also, I need to make sure he’s not too stressed about this.

Optimus’ P.O.V.
Seeing Drift in the hallway by the bedroom he shares with Crosshairs and Jamie is concerning.
“Drift, are you ok?” The look in his eyes tells me he’s not ok, “you know the others will help you and Crosshairs.”
“Jamie is not ok, and she wants to stay away from everyone. I know I’m at the point where I need to make her leave the room, but...”
I don’t believe this is everything, but these are challenging issues. Crosshairs and Drift had Jamie go to the beach, but that was a week ago. I suspect Drift would hold her as he sits on the rocking chair on the balcony. It’s still not great, but at least she’s been outside.
“The others know to be careful. We can talk about this with them.”
“I-I don’t know. I’m tired of hearing her cry, and if I can...,” Drift trails off.
But he can’t, and he almost told me why. I will not tell him what I suspect. I hope he and Jamie will tell me one day so I can tell them it’s ok. I wonder if Jamie has wanted a dog since she loves animals. I tell Drift I’ll see about arranging a meeting before going to my room.

My mind visualizes what currently is an impossible future for Crosshairs, Drift, and Jamie. Tears forming in my eyes.

Once this thought fades, I go downstairs, seeing everyone but Crosshairs, Drift, and Lily in the kitchen though it’s only eight in the morning. Sunstreaker tells me Lily is still asleep, but he isn’t waiting for her to get up for coffee.
Prowl immediately asks me what we will do to help Crosshairs and Drift with Jamie. All agree we need to get Jamie to feel ok staying in this dimension. Understanding that we need to be careful. We will need to start slowly. I suggest with the terror twins and Lily since Jamie is already ok with them. Understanding that she could still want nothing to do with them. Lightning knows I’m not saying she must stay away from Jamie. Everyone states how they hope we can help Jamie. Hoping this doesn’t end up like our vacation in December. We also decide to use a ground bridge to get back to the base on the twenty-fifth. We know things will not be ok by then, but hopefully, she’ll be doing better and choose to stay in this dimension.
Crosshairs and Drift walk in at the end of the conversation. They tell the others they hope to get Jamie outside to the beach. Hoping the twins and Lily can join them and Lightning. Hoping things get better for Jamie.