Del Rico Triplets #1: Bound By Duties

Wakas

(Continuation)

Nagpakasal siya sa akin dahil mahal niya ako at ganoon din ako sa kaniya. Wala akong kaalam-alam na ganoon pala kasaya ang ikasal. Parang unang beses. Masaya pero gusto mong umiyak. Hollis made me cry in two different reason. Both happiness in pain.

I don't actually cry. Man, I'm a fucking strong man. But who wouldn't cry if you saw your wife in such situation.

I was never afraid of anything but then I saw her lost consciousness a lot of times. I wasn't the type of person who easily got hurt by something but then, I felt pain when she chose to not to undergo operation. I was never afraid of losing something or someone. People can leave me all they want! I wouldn't give a damn but it's her... Siya ang mang-iiwan sa akin at naiisip ko pa lang 'yon, nawawasak na ako!

I've been torn between difficult situations but this one... this is tearing me down. I am crying on my mother's lap. I was so lost. I couldn't find the courage to tell it to her.

"I couldn't feel happiness, Mom..." pag-amin ko.

"She chose our child. I hate to admit it but I am selfish because I am choosing her over our child. I can leave with a baby but I can't... without her!"

My brothers are there for me. Even though they have their own issues, the only thing they could do for me is to stay and drink with me. Mom never left my side that night. Nagsumbong ako sa kaniya. Sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, naging mahina ako sa harap ng pamilya ko.

"I don't want that child... I want my wife to stay with me for the rest of my life..." I sobbed.

Mom tried to hush me down.

"It's your baby, too, Tross. Anak mo pa rin 'yon. Ganoon talaga ang isang ina. I could understand your wife. Kung ako rin ang nasa sitwasyon niya, anak din ang pipiliin ko."

That was supposed to comfort me but it didn't. Nothing can ease the pain I am feeling right now! Not my mother's comforting words! Not my family's presence!

"P-paano ako? Kapag wala na siya... paano ako?" basag na basag ang boses ko.

I look like a child whining! This is my fucking first time being wasted without too alcohol involved!

I was so wrecked but then, I tried my best not to show it to her. I don't want to stress her out. I don't want us to fight that might lead her to something I fear of. Kaya lang... siya mismo ang gumagawa ng paraan para magkaroon kami ng pagtatalo.

Wearing a fucking heels! A fucking heels! Paano kung matapilok siya at bumagsak? I'm not concerned about the baby! I am concerned about her. We have different concerns kaya ginagamit ko minsan ang bata kapag gusto ko siyang pasunurin para sa kapakanan niya. The baby is not my concern. It's her. It's always been her! I am just faking my concern to the child. I am a selfish father, indeed! I chose to be a good husband than to be a good father.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered one night as she thought I'm asleep.

I felt her caressing my hair. I stiffened when I heard her silent sobs.

"I really want to become a mother, baby. I want to keep our baby because there is a part of you in him. Sana ay mapatawad mo ako sa mga desisyon ko. Mahal na mahal kita, Tross. Mahal na mahal..."

Since that day, I tried to open my heart for our baby. Kahit pa hirap na hirap ako dahil alam ko ang kahihinatnan niya sa oras na manganak. I learned many things because of her.

Natuto akong magdasal. Natuto akong tumawag sa Diyos para lang humiling sa kaniya na kung maari, panatalihin niya ang asawa ko. And he really did. But then... he took something in exchange of my wife. Nakalimutan kong... ilapit din sa kaniya ang anak ko.