A immortal and a Widow (Natasha x reader)

I do love her

Y/n pov

I wake up with the feeling of sweetness all over my body, it almost feels like blood. And the weight of her on my chest. I carefully lift her off me and get off the bed. Making my way out the door and into the living room. I know everyone is there but the first i see is Wanda... who's also the first to see me.

"Is she alright?" she asks and enlightens the others of my presence as well.

"She will be" i begin and then i try to think of what to say next. "May i speak with you... in private"

"Sure" she answers hesitantly but follows me out into the hall with their gazes following us. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No i... i'm not sure, but she won't tell me what's wrong. She says it's probably a cold but i can sense it's something else" i say and she gets where i'm walking with this.

"So you want me to talk to her... you think she'll tell me something that she won't even tell her girlfriend?"

"If it can be linked to me thinking it's my fault, then i think so, yes" i answer even though i'm not entirely sure why.

"Fine, i'll talk to her. But only because she's my best friend" she says and starts to walk off to the bedroom.

"Look, i know you don't like me because i hurt her and i don't blame you for it. But i did what i thought was right, i think" i say, not knowing how it really makes sense. But then i say the thing i'm 100% sure of. "But i do love her."

Wanda pov

"But i do love her" she says behind me as i make my way into Natashas bedroom where she's still sleeping. All that's in my head about Y/n all goes away when i see Nat, peacefully sleeping. For the first time in very long, she's sleeping peacefully. I guess that's one good thing about Y/n, she makes Nat feel safe somehow. Maybe since they both view themselves as monster.

"Nattie?" i say quietly, but loud enough for her to hear me and wake up. "Natasha, i need to talk to you"

"About what?" she says not even opening her eyes. But when she feels with her hand on the other side of the bed, she sits right up. "Where's Y/n?"

"She's... she's out getting lunch, it's already three pm" i being as i sit down on the bed, next to her. "You need to tell me what's wrong"

"She sent you, didn't she?"

"You won't tell her so yes, she asked me because she believed that if it could end in her believing it was her fault, you wouldn't tell her.... So tell me" i say and she just looks at me with a sad face. "Can it?"

"Yes..." she begin, closed her eyes again. "If she why i think i'm sick, she will leave again because that's what she does when she finds out she's the reason i'm hurt or sick"

"If it's like that, then why are you with her?"

"You don't choose who you love Wands. If i had the choice, i wouldn't choose a path this painful"

"But you can choose" i say but she just looks at me, dead serious.

"But i can't Wanda. It's bigger than anyone of us, it's more than love"

"You're talking soulmates here?"

"No" she says with a little emotionless laugh. "But when you mix the years we've spent together, the love we share and the pain we've endured with and for each other. It's not something i want to give up, she's a part of me weather you like it not"

"You can't force me to like her" i say with a little smile. "But i want you to be happy. And if she makes you happy, then i will try"

Y/n pov

"...she will leave again because that's what she does when she finds out she's the reason i'm hurt or sick..." i hear Natasha say and a tear falls down my cheek. I know it's the truth because that's who i've become. But that's not who i am anymore, i could never leave her. It would be like leaving a part of me behind. And it goes beyond the power sharing. I decide to stop eavesdropping and make my way to the kitchen, to actually get some food for her.

"I honestly thought she would hit you" a familiar male voice says behind me.

"Oh, she did, just this morning" i answer and turn around to see Tony, i remember him as the man who'd carried me out when they saved me. "Tony, right?"

"That's me... but i'm surprised it took her so long to hit you after what you did" he answers and i stiff up as i place a plate of lunch in the microwave. What's left from what the others ate for lunch i guess.

"Could you... i mean, could you tell me what i did" i ask. "I know why i did it but could you tell me exactly what i did for everyone to hate me?"

"We were saving you in Iceland, Natasha emptied both you and herself on that teleport magic you two share." he doesn't even hesitate to answer. Even though i had heard Nat tell them to shut up about it. "So when she did wake up, you were both in the medbay here in the tower. And then you left, without a word to the rest of us" and i remember that, part of it. "A few hours after. I found you with a drone on the edge of a building, missing out enemy"

"Loki? I was kissing Loki?"

"So you do remember?"

"No i don't, but i remember him, as i remember you carrying me out of Hydra that day"

"You remember more things than you're letting on, aren't you?" he says and it's true, i do remember more than everyone else things. "Maybe enough to already be transforming back, maybe you should..." but i cut him off.

"You're scared, aren't you. You're scared that i'm gonna lose control and go on a killing spree, right here in the tower." i say and the paleness in his face is answer enough. "And no, i'm not taking another IL-2 treatment, i'm not a Cancer patient" i say, taking the food out and filling up a glass of water. The plate is hot but it only warms my cold hand.

"I'm just saying... i don't particularly like you, but since Steve, Bucky and Natasha want you here i can't do anything about it" he says and i sign, holding in the food.

"Look, don't need you to like me, i just need you to know that i would never hurt Natasha or the ones she loves. I won't lose control over whatever it is i am and i will never... never leave, until she tells me to"