A immortal and a Widow (Natasha x reader)

I'm so damned hungry

Y/n pov

I can feel the cold autumn air brushing my h/c hair to my cheek. It feels so normal, even the burning in my throat feels normal. I listen to the sounds of the city, every heartbeat, every breath. And without being sidturbed by my own heat. I remember everything and want to leave, but i made a promise. Till death do us apart, which it has since i'm dead once again. But as long as her heart beats, i have a reason for living. I can't leave no matter what, even if that means spending time with people who hate me. The burning takes over the cracks that spread down under my eyes, i have missed it somehow. The feeling of not having control over myself, it's freedom in my ears. I walk in again through the balcony door and into the office.

"Miss Barnes, here's what you asked for" a man in a while coat says, coming back in through the door. Also making sure to close it immediately. In his hands there are five bags... blood bags to be real. O neg, my favourite. Also universal donor, which makes it easier to find.

"Thank you Dr Murphy" i say as he's about to hand me the bags, he hesitates. He sees my eyes, the cracks and bloodlust in my face, then he hands them to me. Knowing that otherwise i would use him as my personal blood bag. I feel the cold blood stop the burning in my throat. I use my thumb to sipe some of the blood off the corner off my lips, then meet the Doctor's gaze.

"Is everything to you liking?" he asks as i walk close to him, a smile gracing my lips.

"Yes, thank you again" he doesn't back away even though i come closer. One look at the clock reminds me that i have to get back before anyone notices i've gone. It's almost six am, meaning people are starting to wake up any second. "Now remember doctor, tell anyone and your kids won't know where to find your body"

"I understand miss" he says and there's this little fear in his voice that i don't miss. Rather something that fills me with a feeling i've missed. The feeling that makes me a monster, a monster who kills, a monster who inflicts fear more than actually death. It's not that i feed off people to survive, i did it just for the kill. Sometimes i didn't even finish them off, I just killed them. For sport, for fun.

"I'll be back... soon" i begin to walk back to the balcony. "Until next time Dr. Murphy" i say and i'm gone, out the balcony and into the air. I quickly make my way up the stairs of the towers to make it go faster.

"And where have you been?" i hear my brothers voice in front of me as i exit the stairs, freezing in my step.

"I had to take some air brother" i lie and it's useless since he's my twin and he'll know that i'm lying. But still i hope he doesn't. That's when something shifts in his eyes.

"Okay, just be careful. They may still be looking for you" he says before making his way back to his room. He didn't noticed i lied, or he simply didn't care. Or maybe because i didn't want him to. Right, mind manipulation... compulsion. I had almost forgotten about the powers i never took the time to really learn. Even though that one is a part of the vampire thing... i never used it, didn't want to. Nevermind that as i make my way back into what is now mine and Nat's room, since i don't have my own. Well i do, but that's in mine and Loki's condo on the other side of town.

"Where have you been?" Natashas worried voice asks a little angrily as i enter the room. She sitting on the bed, she was waiting.

"I just took some air" i answer, hoping she won't realise i'm lying. I don't even know why i would be lying to her.

"Those compulsion powers won't work on me Y/n, where were you?" she says and i remember that now, they never have... for some reason.

"I was... practising my powers on the roof, okay. I want to learn how to control them this time"

"You remember your other powers" i see the fear of what that means, me remembering. But i already remember everything.

"Just the compulsion and this" i say and extend my hand, a crystal of ice starts forming floating in my hand. "I also remember i never got to learn how to use them, and that i was to scared to learn alone" well except for the teleportation thing that helps with killing, the power that we share because it was too big to tie it to just one person. If only one of us had it, one teleportation could kill that person.

"Just come back to bed, it's too early" she says, pulling me in by the hand, so that i land on her. And somehow under the covers. "We'll talk about training later" i meet her lips with passion, "Maybe with Thor" i kiss her again, making her unable to talk.

"Or you could just shut up малышка" i say, tracing my hand down her side as i kiss her again. But she's right about one thing, i do need a gods help, just not this god. I need Loki. I continue to kiss her and she rolls around so that she's on top of me instead. I say nothing before rolling her back over with a swift movement. Me over her again, kissing down her jawline, her tracking her fingers down my legs. I can feel her heartbeat flow throughout her body, how her heart skips a beat for every kiss i give down her chest.

"You need to rest Nat. You're sick, remember" i say, hovering two inches above her mouth. She tries to reach but i pull away and she pouts, making me laugh. I kiss her once more before laying down next to her, pulling her in to lay next to me. One arm around her waist while the other lays on her hand that's resting on my stomach. Even though i know she can't hear my heartbeat anymore, i can feel her feeling safe in my arms.