A immortal and a Widow (Natasha x reader)

It's NOT real

Y/n pov

Those flashes are starting to give me a headache. It's like having two lives in my head. One that's lasted a hundred years and this one. Her words on it not begin real has echoed through my head the whole dinner, until now that we're sitting in my study and my head is just empty.

"Just please listen to me Y/n"

"I am listening, that's why i invited you in"

"No, you invited me in because you sense my words are true. Those flashes, they're real, this isn't"

"You get how you're not making any sense right? You sound crazy"

"Okay, one week ago you went after a man who's made both of us suffer. You speed up your plan on doing it because i said some things that made you think that dying would perhaps be the way out"

"What did you say?" the question coming out of my mouth surprises me.

"We were playing truth or dare with the others and... one thing made me tell you that i don't trust you"

"And don't you? Trust me i mean, did you mean it"

"No, of course not. I was angry and jealous and you didn't give me a chance to apologise because you left"

"So it's my fault?"

"No, you're not listening..." but i cut her off.

"No i am, and if this... what you are telling me is reality, i don't want it. It sounds painful and full of heartbreak and death. Do you get how selfish you are by breaking this for me?"

"You've done more selfish things in your life than this, but i'm doing it for you as well. Sure, it's selfish because i can't survive with you. But you have promises to keep and would you really leave your brother again, and this time you would actually be dead" her words cut deep and another flash came before my eyes. One where men drags me away from Bucky, who's chained. And they said something about me being pregnant in German. A hand goes to my stomach as the year must have been with Sarah. "Just that, that memory is real. Sure real life is full of pain but it also has its moments, that's what life is made up by. Good ones, bad ones, but they're all worth living"

"Life is made of little moments, precious as diamonds. But imagine there was an endless sea of diamonds. They'd all be worthless. They'd be as common as sand"

"Mom, i'm tired" Rebecca interrupts and comes in through the door and to me. She's already in her pj's.

"I know, it's past your bedtime little munchkin" i say as i pick her up and kiss her nose, causing her to laugh. Daniel comes to stand in the doorway, his gaze filled with love. But it's not the love i've seen in those flashes, it's different. Different from the love i can see in her eyes.

"Sarah is sleeping over at the neighbour and Caspian is already put to bed, you want me to take her too?"

"No, i want mommy" Rebecca says, clutching herself hard around me.

"It's okay. I'll take her" i answer and Daniel nods before he walks out. Rebecca is almost asleep in my arms.

"In the end it's still your choice if you come back with me or not. Just now, if you don't, Loki will come and you won't have a choice. I'm giving you a choice, he won't. Make the right one" she says, rising from her chair and it's nothing in her words that i know aren't real. She gives me a last smile before she walks out, probably out of the whole house. So i try to not think about her as i take Rebecca into her room and put her down to bed.

"Goodnight honey" i say as i tuck her in and she smiles her sleepy smile.

"Love my mommy, love you 3000"

"Wow, that's a lot" i answer with a smile and sit down beside her. "I love you 3000 too" i kiss her forehead before getting up.

"Wait" she sits up and takes my hand to pull me back.

"What sweetheart?" i ask as i sit back down beside her.

"I don't want you to go" and her words have deeper meaning than i think she understands. But her next words tell me that she does understand. "I want you to stay with us"

"I can't, i'm sorry" i answer even though i would like nothing more. "But i need to go home"

"Then i want you to marry her, i want you to be happy"

"Thank you Rebecca, now go to sleep before the monsters get you" i say and she laughs. The moment of clearness for her is over. "Goodnight"

"Goodnight" and this time i go out of her room, turning the light off and closing the door behind me. From where i stand i can see into the master bedroom. A flash of the room at the Tower in New York flashes before me. I see Daniel already tucked into bed and i can't help but smile and let a tear go down my cheek. But now i realise, this isn't reality no matter how much i want it to be. And the love i saw in his eyes is nothing compared to the endless pool of love i saw in hers.

"Once upon a time, there was a vampire who loved a Widow. And her laughter was a question she wanted to spend her whole life answering." Tony says and makes me roll my eyes. But he is right and what he says next makes me realise it for real. "And when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible"

The cold summer winds pull on her hair as she's standing out on the grass. Waiting for me.

"I'm coming with you, on one condition" i call out as i start to walk up to her. And i know, i know she's real. She turns to face me as the winds turn harder.

"What?" she answers with a higher voice as well, drowning out the wind.

"Don't ever let me go" i answer with a smile and she takes my hand in hers. The wind is really pulling on my dress and hair as well as hers.

"Never" she pulls me in to let her lips meet mine.