Touchdown

Chapter 59

TW:
Panic attack
Abandonment issues

Dream's Pov:

This is it. Everyone is going to find out. What if George leaves me again? What if this is all too much for him? I don't want him to leave me again. I can't handle that.

My hands are shaking and I feel tears running down my face. We can't fix this. That guy has a fucking photo and he's going to show it to everyone.

My heart is racing and it feels like I can't breathe. I'm sitting on the floor, trying to hide behind my knees and arms. I don't want George to see me like this.

Last time people were only speculating, what's going to happen if they actually find out? I can't lose him.

"Dream. Dream, look at me!" I feel George holding on to my arms, his hands are cold and his voice is shaky. I think he's crying, too.

I can't answer him, no matter how much I want to, I can't get a single word out. I'm breathing way too fast and way too short.

George is talking to me, trying to calm me down, but he sounds so distant. The only thing I can hear is my fast breathing and all the thoughts in my head.

It feels like my head is going to explode. "Dream. Breathe. Slowly." But George sounds just as panicked as me. It doesn't help. I can't calm down, knowing that this is all going to get destroyed.

Just by one picture. We should have been more careful. Maybe this was all a big mistake.

"Please-" Is all I can get out until my own breathing cuts me off. I try to breathe more evenly. Eventually I bring myself to say a full sentence. "Please don't leave me."

I choke on my own breath and the pace of my breathing starts to pick up again. I don't want to look at him, I feel like I can't look at him. He's going to leave me behind. Just like he did before. I know it.

"Wh- I'm not leaving you Dream. I'm here. I'm here for you." I don't think he understands what I mean. And I can't explain it to him as long as I can't get myself to calm down.

"I'm not going anywhere. Please, just try to calm down. We can still fix this... somehow." He tries to reassure me but his voice sounds like he isn't even sure himself. He doesn't think we can fix this. Because we can't.

"Dream-" Just as he begins another meaningless sentence, we hear someone coming in through the door. I bring myself to look up to see who it is.

Luckily, it's Sapnap. It could have been anyone, but it's him. That doesn't change how much I'm panicking though. And I bury my head in my knees again.

"What's going on??" I hear Sapnap running towards us, kneeling down infront of me. "I-... we-... I can't explain right now. I think he's having a panic attack." George lets go of my arms, finally understanding that it doesn't help anything.

Then I feel Sapnap's warm hand on my shoulder. "Okay... Dream look at me. It's going to be okay." With his other hand he reaches for my head, trying to tilt it up so that I look at him.

I let him. "You have to slow your breathing. Count to ten with me, okay?" He gives me a sympathetic look as I nod slowly.

"One."

I try to take a deep breath. But instead I take about ten fast ones.

"Two."

Sapnap demonstrates it, taking a deep and slow breath. I can't do it.

"Three."

Our eyes are locked and he gives me a look that tells me "you can do it".

"Four."