Reflection

.15.

Jisung POV

My days were shortly long if that makes sense. I went to school and went home immediately. Everyone in the group already knew what happened, but I couldn't bare the weight it had over me. He's a thief and Felix tried telling me that a bunch of times, but I chose to ignore it.

I do love Lee Know, and I would be lying if I said I didn't. Something in my mind kept telling me that he didn't deserve it.

Maybe they got the wrong guy, was a thought I started to get often. I was so out of it that I didn't know who to trust.

"You did the right thing Jisung." Bang Chan said setting his things next to me.

I nodded knowing that he was right but I didn't want to believe it. I stared off into space hoping that he would walk through those doors and sit in his original seat. My mind wasn't racing like it usually does. It was still and unbothered. Empty.

My only thoughts were on him.

"Mr. Han Jisung?" The teacher called out to me, "Could you keep your head in class please?"

"Oh sorry," I said locking my eyes on the board.

"Statistics is the study of data collection, organization, analysis, interpretation, and presentation. It is customary, to begin with, a statistical population or a statistical model when applying statistics to a scientific, industrial, or social problem," The teacher's words faded in an instant.

I'm staring right at the board and still not listening to a single that that's happening around me. My eyes got very droopy and the silence was too peaceful to snap out of myself. Sooner or later my head swiveled back to the window. I could stop thinking about Lee Know.

I just wanted to know one thing, maybe two.

Is he okay? and, Would he ever forgive me for this?

Before I could even figure out the answers, the bell pulled me out of my thoughts. I got up and walked out of the class. Making my way to the school doors was easy. I just didn't want to bump into anyone because I wasn't in the right mind to speak to someone at the moment. I kept my head low, with my headphones in, maintaining heavy eye contact with the floor. I slipped past the many people crowding the halls.

What was I going to do?

I know some people are happy that he was arrested because he is a criminal. But someone who knew him like I did and loved him as I did, would feel the same way as I do. Once I made it to the doors of the school building, I was relieved that Hyunjin was occupied with Seungmin in his car.

Unfortunately, I was kind of jealous of their relationship. Even though Hyunjin was the type of guy to erase his problems with sex, I wished that was the case with me and Lee Know. I walked past his car and started to the main road. Hyunjin usually drives me to and from school, and the only other way I could get home was on foot. I needed the exercise. At least this way I wouldn't have to worry about Lee Know thinking I walked to his house.

"True." I chuckled to myself.

The smile soon faded when Evergreen by Omar Apollo played in my ears. He didn't cheat or go with some other girl instead of me. But it hurt because I miss him and I can't help but feel used.

You know you made me hate myself

Had to stop before I break myself

I Shoulda broke it off to date myself

You didn't deserve me at all.......

My laughter soon turned into a silent sob. The tears raced down my face as I clutched my phone in my pocket. I felt like it was all my fault. It's not, Lee Know doesn't think that either. Fortunately, I made it home safely with the water constantly blocking my eyesight.

I went straight to my room and locked the door behind me. My phone was ringing like crazy but I refused to give it the time of day. I curled myself into a ball and wallowed in sorrow.

I shouldn't miss him but I do.