xxii. kiss of life

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November, 19th, 1983

Shell gas station

6:52 p.m

I kept running over my hair, fixing it every second and looking around for him

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I kept running over my hair, fixing it every second and looking around for him. I was kicking myself over and over already for even going to the gas station, and now I was waiting for him. I felt pathetic, but all he wanted to do was talk, so I'd let him.

I smoked my third cigarette since I'd gotten here, chainsmoking my go to pass time when I felt this anxious and stressed. But there he was. He walked across the street, crossing infront of me. He had black jeans, a misfits shirt, and a leather jacket. He gave me a small smile as he stood infront of me.

"You came." His voice had surprised undertones, like he wasn't expecting me to show my face near him ever again.

"I did." I nodded, and we looked at eachother awkwardly.

"Do you mind if I sit?" He asked me, gesturing to the rest of the bench I left empty. I gave him a nod and he sat to my right. I stomped out the cigarette, and turned to him, waiting for what he had to say. "I thought about this all night and I still forget everything I've ever learnt when I look at you." He started with a whisper.

"I don't want your pity." I said, avoiding looking at him and watching the cars pass as the sky began to be painted with color.

"I don't pity you. I just.. I..." He moved his hand to my chin, turning my face so I'd look at him. "I need you. You're all I want and you're all I have. What can I do? Tell me. Name it. What can I do to make you forgive me." He almost pleaded, and my mouth was agape from shock. Of all the things, that was the last thing I'd expect him to say.

"I don't know." Was all I could say, my eyes stinging from the damnof tears building up.

"Come on," he stood up from beside me and walked to face me, extending out his hand. "I've got something to show you."

-

"Fuck" I laughed, nearly falling down the stairs of the abandoned farm house he took me to. He grabbed my hand and helped my up, as we avoided the creaky floorboards. "Why are we doing this again?"

"Shhh, it's a surprise." He grinned with his crooked smile, climbing out a windowsill onto the roof of the abandoned barn.

I followed him and sat next to him, our legs dangling off the roof. This is what he brought me here for. The sun set over the fields, a glowing orange dot, and the sky was painted bu the gods, pink, purple, red, orange, the warm colours filling the sky as the golden hour struck. "Fuck this is gorgeous," I said, sucking in a breath of fresh air and taking the sight in.

"Not nearly as gorgeous as you," he leaned to my ear to whisper. We were now face to face, our faces inches apart, his hand on my thigh and eyes gazing into my soul. We'd been in this position so many times before, but this time it felt... different.

I didn't feel overcome with lust, nor did I feel the betrayal and anger from the pain he caused me. I felt safe. His warm hand moved to my cheek, brushing it. "You look as beautiful as the day I met you."

I could feel my eyes watering, but I never broke eye contact with him. He knew what he did and how he hurt me and now he could see it. The setting sun gave us a golden haze. "I love you." He promised, with his soul. I could hear the birds on the summer breeze, and I closed my eyes for a single moment, letting tears race down my cheek.

Before he said anything else, he grabbed my face, and kissed me. The most soul shaking, earth shattering kiss I'd ever felt in my entire life. Without breaking the kiss, he layed me down on the sun-bathed roof.

We kissed and kissed until we stopped for breath, panting by eachother as he looked down from untop of me. That kiss was enough, call me a fool, but in that kiss was all the sorry and guilt and regret in the world, along with love and care. He fooled me once, that's shame on him. But if he was going to fool me twice, then it would be shame on me.

He intertwined his fingers with mine, lying on the shingles next to me, looking at the coming stars as a cool breeze swifted over the roof. After some more kissing and sweet nothings, we returned to the Teenage Wasteland apartment, sneaking in to avoid Charlie or Don seeing us. I got him into my room and we layed on my bed, cuddling. He loved playing with my hair, it was something I found him often doing. Hours passed of us whispering and kissing and talking, finally together again. His arm rested on my waist, my pulling it into his crotch. He kissed the back of my neck, snickering when I'd laugh from being sensitive.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear.

"I love you, too."

Little Angelfuck ☆ Kirk HammettWhere stories live. Discover now