Cowboys & Angels

Thirteen

I was wild as a west Texas wind
Wild as a cowboy's ever been
Till you rolled in like Annie Oakley with them guns blazing
Bang, bang, baby, them blue eyes got
me like
Take me in, lock me up, tell all them boys not to save me
Bang, bang, baby, that sweet smile hit me like
Lightning
Ain't trying to fight it
Stole this heart
Ain't that the truth
I guess that makes you an outlaw too

Outlaw x Morgan Wallen feat. Ben Burgess

Beckham
30 weeks pregnant

It's 3am, and I'm awake again to go pee. Emmy is quickly running out of womb and my lungs and bladder have been catching the brunt of it. Feeling like a turtle stuck on its back, I make multiple attempts to get up before I feel a warm hand at my back, giving me the extra push I needed.

"Hey, I was getting there by myself!" I snap at Jake and then waddle my way to the bathroom. When I walk back into the bedroom, Jake has apparently gone to the kitchen and back, because there's an ice cold Sprite and a premade fruit cup on my nightstand. He's laid back down on the bed, propped up on an elbow facing me, sleepy eyes fighting to stay open until I lay back down with him. My eyes fill with tears and I'm sniffling by the time I make it to the comfort of his waiting arms. As soon as my cheek hits his chest, I start bawling.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you baby, little nug has been extra wiggly lately and I'm so tired but I can't sleep because I always have to pee, then I'm thirsty, which makes me have to pee again and it's just an endless cycle," I sob as he comfortingly rubs my hair.

"I know, angel. I'm so sorry I can't do more to help, the least I can do is take your verbal punches and love on you while you let it out."

That makes me cry even harder.

"I don't deserve you being so sweet when I've been such a raging bitch," I manage to say between stuttered breaths.

"Darlin' you're growing our precious girl and she's literally shoving your insides out of her way. You deserve all the things, and you seriously never complain. You're such a badass and I promise it doesn't bother me at all, I've always loved your spicy nugget side anyway," Jake winks then kisses my forehead. "Eat your snack then get some sleep, ok? We get to see our girl in...about 6 hours. I'll remind her to take it easy on her mama." I do as he says and snuggle back into his chest, one of my legs laid across his hips and the Squishmallow from the baby shower supporting my belly. I have a big pregnancy pillow that Jake spent a ridiculous amount of money on for me, but he's so much more comfortable and the sound of his heartbeat is my own lullaby, so I'm back asleep within 15 minutes.

"Alright, mom and dad! It looks like your baby girl is actually looking like she's ahead of schedule, her measurements putting her at the size we'd expect at about 33 weeks instead of 30!" the doctor shows us on the screen of the ultrasound machine.  We got to do a special 3D ultrasound today and see her sweet, chubby little cheeks.  I'm already obsessed.

"I just had to go and have a baby with a freaking oak tree of a human.  Labor's gonna be a bitch," I grumble which makes both Jake and Dr. Calloway laugh. 

"I'm gonna bump you up to weekly vs biweekly visits now that baby Seresin is beefing up a little more!  I know you're a nurse and already have a better understanding of what to expect than most of my patients, but I'm still gonna give you my spiel.  You should feel movement at least 20 times in a two hour timeframe.  They don't have to be big rolls or kicks, but we definitely want movement.  There are multiple apps to help keep track, and if you're using a prenatal tracker already it should have a kick counter built in.  If you don't feel movement, try poking around on your belly or a cold, sugary drink like orange juice or a soda. Braxton Hicks contractions should start happening soon, and the main difference between those and the real deal are the frequency and duration.  Braxton Hicks will be short and random, actual labor will be regular and for a longer period of time.  That's all I think you need to look out for, for the time being, but definitely give us a call if you have any questions at any time, ok?"  Dr. Calloway explains.  I did indeed already know pretty much everything she just told me, but Jake's eyes are wide as he frantically nods along like he's gonna be tested over everything later.  I stifle a chuckle at the slight look of shock on his face.  We stop and make a follow up appointment for next week on our way out, then Jake helps me into the passenger seat of my Yukon.  We've come to the sad realization that my belly is too big for me to be trying to climb in and out of his truck.  He drops into the driver's seat and starts the car, but doesn't make a move to pull out of the spot.  He just sits and stares off into space for a minute.  I giggle then reach over and pat his thigh.

"You ok over there, big guy?"

He blinks out of his trance and looks at me with a smile.  "Yeah, I am good short stack.  I'm very good.  It just kinda hit me that Emmy Jett will be here that soon, that's all.  I'm both excited and terrified, I can't wait to hold her and kiss her face but I'm also worried that I might not be a good dad.  What if she hates me?" He turns to me, fear and sadness in his eyes. 

"Oh, honey.  She's gonna love you so much!  She already gets mad when you're gone for too long.  I told you she doesn't kick as much the nights you're home late, didn't I?  It scared the shit out of me, but then you walked in the door and the second she heard your voice, she started doing flips.  She's already a huge daddy's girl, just like her mama," I wink flirtatiously and Jake groans in response. 

"You're nothing but trouble, my little angel.  But I love every second of it," Jake leans over and kisses me sweetly before pulling out of the parking lot.  We stop and grab something to eat before we head to the hangar for the rest of the workday, ultrasound pictures in hand and ready to show the team once we get there.  I love our big family so much.

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Fun fact! The little tidbit about Emmy not kicking when Jake isn't home comes directly from how my daughter is with my husband 😂. She wouldn't kick if she hadn't heard his voice after so long and I'd call him while he was at the station and put him on speaker so she would kick! I also absolutely cried when I was always tired and had to pee. Pregnancy is suuuuper fun y'all!