CHAPTER II

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"Good morning, Eveline."

Professor Brown walked through the entrance to the dining room. He smiled at me, benevolently.

"Professor Brown," I greeted, inviting him to sit down and eat with me.

"Well? How do you feel? Put aside your nervousness and fear about the upcoming trip. Try to understand how you feel deep down. Are you happy to be starting a new life in Charlestown?"

"Of course."

I had hesitated before answering, and Professor Brown noticed it immediately. He was only too good at understanding what was going through my mind. He slid his gaze into mine. "But?"

"It's hard to leave behind everything I know."

"You're not pleased by all this, am I right?"

"All this what?"

"The preparations for departure, the idea of spending over a month alone on a ship full of strangers, having to say goodbye to everyone..."

"It's not easy."

"No, it is not, but do you think if you would have left two years ago with your family it would have been different?"

"Are you implying that I would have been happier if I had abandoned my studies and gone to the New World with my family?"

"Yes. I know very well that these two years have not been at all easy for you. I know you felt very nostalgic for them, and I sometimes pause to wonder if you would not have preferred to follow them then, rather than wait to finish your studies with me."

"I'm happy with my choice. These have been the most important years of my life, I guarantee you. You have given me so much and I promise you that I will not forget anything of what you have so generously taught me. It was almost inevitable that I would feel nostalgia for the people I love. Such feelings are natural, even for the British."

Mr. Brown chuckled.

"Just promise me one thing,"

He waited for me to continue, intrigued.

"Promise me that I will not be your only pupil, promise me that you will find another person out there, a person who is believed to have no right to be educated, and you will teach them everything you have taught me, maybe even more."

"Why?"

"Because learning changes people and makes them better."

"Man can save himself only through knowledge of things and not by attributing to divine interventions what he cannot understand. "

"Lucretius," I said, acknowledging the quote.

The professor smiled, nodding. Then he grew more sombre and assumed a grim expression. "I'm old now. Don't you think I should make way for younger teachers? Someone with less traditional, less orthodox ideals."

I furrowed my brow, not believing my own ears. "Do you really believe that your ideals have faded? I don't think I've ever met a wiser, more open-minded person like you, Professor, and I don't think I'll ever meet such a person in the future. I am so grateful that I was your pupil. It seemed to me an extraordinary thing to know the explanation of everything, to know why it begins, why it ends, why it is. It is essential that you continue to teach. Please do not ignore these words."

He didn't speak for a few seconds, as if stunned. The silence was prolonged, but it was not one of those tense, awkward silences. They never happened in the presence of the Professor. Rather, it was similar to a moment of reflection, of stasis, the still air, the calm, relaxed breaths of the two of us, each immersed in our own thoughts.

"If it is as you claim, then I will gladly take your advice."

Satisfied that I had gotten what I desired, I brought another piece of buttered bread to my lips.

"You'll be all right, won't you?" he asked.

"I'll be fine, don't worry too much about me."

"Do you have any plans? Any ideas on what to do when you get to the New World?"

I lowered my gaze to my nearly empty plate, uncomfortable with that question. "Not really. I haven't really given it much thought. I think I'll find someone and get married."

"To satisfy yourself or your mother?"

I blushed. After all those years I still wasn't used to his way of expressing himself, so direct, almost brutal. 

"Both, I think."

He clearly wasn't buying it. He crossed his arms over his chest, almost disappointed. "You do know that you don't have to marry if it's not what you want out of life, right? Just because you think it is proper for a woman to do so does not mean you must. You are a free woman, Eveline."

"Free? Really? In a society where marriage is one of the fundamental institutions? No. It is necessary for me to marry, though I am not much pleased with the idea."

"I hope you can find a man worthy of you."

"The important thing is that he allows me to continue studying. I will certainly be dedicated to studying for the rest of my life, for one can never know enough."

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