CHAPTER XXXIV

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Already on the first night I noticed how irregular Arenis' sleep was. There was a knock at the door at any hour, for any problem, and she was forced to go out and make sure everything was okay. In my sleep, I could hear her pacing back and forth, doors opening and closing, voices muffled by the closed door.

The couch was as comfortable as I'd remembered. Athena slept next to my feet and every so often I could hear her stretching and moving around to find a better position. It was strange to be back in my old cabin. I could hardly remember what it had been like to live there, as if I no longer felt it was mine, as if decades had passed, when in fact it had only been eight months.

Arenis had stopped training me every morning, however, when she had time on her hands, she would come and call me and we would fight on the deck. Others began to join our lessons as well. Quinn was particularly enthusiastic about it, as Arenis wanted him to improve his lunge technique. As soon as the Captain paid him any attention, he couldn't stop smiling. I, on the other hand, wanted to compare myself to others, not just her, so that I could get used to different ways of fighting, different feints and counterattacks. Arenis had no objections, so I wasted no time and went to ask Dilthey to fight. We used swords with a minimum of sharpness, too little to pierce a person, but enough to inflict painful scratches. Dilthey went on the attack and I was able to parry the lunge easily, deflecting his blade to the side. I then attempted to strike him in the right flank, but he flinched with precision, avoiding being struck. It only took me a few minutes to realize that Dilthey was moving too much. He was making useless movements, almost exaggerated, as if he wanted to make everything more harmonious, more blatant. But a fight wasn't a dance and moving in that way also meant losing energy. So I let him continue. I kept defending myself and dodging all his attacks. I knew that he was stronger than me, so fighting back when he was still in full strength was foolish. After a while, I began to feel his breathing getting heavier and he was dodging my blade with increasing difficulty. When I was completely sure that he was weakened, I attacked without mercy. His sword flew far, and almost slipped over the balustrade. Five Yoruba, who had come to enjoy the spectacle, cheered at my victory.

"Not bad, Adler," Dilthey said to me. "Go easier on me next time, huh?"

In those days, Arenis gave me lessons in locks and how to pick them.

"If you want to survive you need to know how to get out of the shackles." In the beginning she had me try with her picks, showing me how to gently test the profile of the pistons using the tool, how much pressure to apply until you could feel the spring give way. She showed me the different locks and how to open each one. Some were easy to pick, others involved more effort. When I began to get the hang of the picks, Arenis took them out of my hand and gave me hairpins, knives and all the sharp things she could find.

"You almost never have these tools at your disposal in your time of need. You have to learn to make do with anything."

"It's too hard, I can't do it."

"Try again. You must try again until you succeed."

"What if I'm not capable?"

"Your mind deceives you. You are capable of doing anything."

Surprisingly, Harris, the cook, who had at first gone out of his way to make life difficult for me, had taken a liking to me, and now and then gave me some food that was intended only for the quartermaster and the Captain if there was not plenty for the whole crew. Oranges, honey, and pomegranates. It was only when I got the cook's sympathy that I felt truly appreciated in that crew. When I formulated that thought, I called myself a fool. Eight months; that was how long it had taken me to adjust to that new life, a life I had never wanted, a life that had been forced upon me, like the other one I had had. My world had become those people and that ship, the Black Star. And I felt so terribly pathetic for adjusting so quickly, for giving up my old self so hastily.

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