CHAPTER XXIX

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We reached the Spanish ship a day later. Arenis had managed to intercept her and ensure that the Black Star had the wind in its favour to board her. She executed sharp manoeuvres, bringing us up to a speed of nine knots; a speed I had never experienced before. The ship was breaking the waves, vibrating and swaying under our feet.

"Adler," the Captain called to me at one point. "You're going to fight, too. We need all the help we can get."

I felt the blood drain from my cheeks. "I can't-"

"Understood?"

I swallowed loudly. Having combat lessons was one thing, but real fighting was a different story. The terror of being in front of armed people, with the intent to hurt me, to kill me, paralyzed the muscles in my legs. I didn't dare protest, though. Arenis had taken on a look so determined, so ruthless, that it made me suddenly shut up.

Anguish turned into a painful spasm in the middle of my chest; sweat covered my palms, making them clammy and slippery. I brandished a sword and slipped a dagger into my belt, watching the others with fear-filled eyes. Quinn approached me, gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed my arm, as if to bring me back to reality, as if to rouse me from that waking nightmare.

"Adler, do not fear. I saw you fighting with the Captain. You'll be fine."

"I can't, I can't..."

"Of course you can. We all had the same face as you the first time. Try to stay calm, try not to panic, otherwise it's the end. Are you with me, Miss Adler?"

My head felt like it was floating. Fear can save our skin, but it can also kill us if we leave it unchecked. Arenis' words came back to me. Don't try to fight it. Rather, feel it deeply, feel your pulse quicken, the sweat on your forehead, without distracting yourself. Face the fear and breathe, slowly.

I controlled my breathing. I felt the torrid air fill my lungs and swell in my chest. Suddenly, I felt my mind clearing, the movements of my body coming more and more under my command.

"Yes, yes," I replied to Quinn in a whisper.

"Good."

When the Black Star boarded the Spanish ship, hooking it with grappling hooks, the fighting began to rage. The Spaniards were ready to fight and were inciting their comrades to attack.

"¡Ataque! ¡Maten a los bastardos! "

I stood with my sword in my hand, staring at Arenis' crew as they leapt over the enemy ship's bulwark, clinging to the tops and backstay. Walkways were laid out to allow the men easier access to the other ship. Blood spurted everywhere, gunfire overpowered the screams of pain. I wandered bewildered around the stern, watching it all with wide eyes.

Suddenly, a Spaniard with a twisted face and glowing eyes ran toward me, his sabre raised high. I held my breath and quickly parried the blow, preventing it from wounding my head. With one well-aimed move, I disarmed him. I put the blade to his throat, but when I saw his look of bewilderment and dismay, I ran away.

I landed more blows, just trying to defend myself. I lacked the courage to strike at their hearts. I wounded them in the legs, felt my blade sink into soft flesh, their voices howling. The room had filled with crashes of metal against metal. I avoided confrontation. I did not act like the others; I dared not enter the fray and fight anyone. All I wanted at that moment was to disappear. I hoped that a hole would open in the floor and swallow me up. What was I fighting for?

I saw a glint to my left. Someone grabbed my arm, twisted it painfully, and a blade tried to pierce my stomach. I spun around and dodged the lunge, panting with fear. I slammed the hilt of my sword against my opponent's nose, which crunched. The man released his grip on my arm, staggered backwards and stumbled over a peak, tumbling to the ground.

I could feel my veins throbbing. He almost killed me.

He made to rise, ready to attack me again. I drew back and clutched my sword tightly. The duel resumed. It was savage and brutal. The man struck with the intent to kill me, while I did nothing but parry and parry, again and again.

My opponent sneered; he understood my weakness, my uncertainty, my cowardice.

"Una chica en un barco pirata. ¿Qué coño haces aquí ?"

I parried another attack and then another, but I felt my strength failing. He tried to hit me in the chest, but I dodged him quickly enough to avoid a mortal wound. I felt something cold and hard sink into my flesh just above my elbow. His blade had made a wound in my arm. The pain was instantaneous and made me let out a strange cry somewhere between a yelp and a gasp. He tried to plunge his sword in again, but I instinctively blocked it with my other arm. He freed himself quickly and tried to throw me to the ground. This time, however, I struck his hand with a kick, and his sword fell away. He, suddenly helpless, threw himself at me and knocked me backwards onto the floor, crushing me under his weight.

I screamed.

My sword had flown away, my hands empty. He delivered a punch to my head, which stunned me completely. I lay motionless, taking each of his punches without being able to move a single muscle. I saw black.

Then, a shot. All of a sudden, the body of the man on top of me went rigid and fell on top of me. Streams of blood, hot and sticky, splashed over my face. I let out a scream filled with horror. I kept screaming until someone kicked the corpse off of me, freeing me. I held out my hands, ready to defend myself once more.

"Are you all right?"

I recognized that voice. Arenis.

I laid eyes on the man who had attacked me, lying dead next to me. He had a hole in his chest.

"Adler, are you all right?"

My lips were sealed. I couldn't speak. The man's blood was all over my clothes, my hands, my face...

I felt Arenis grab me abruptly. She forced me to stand up and shook me violently, so that I would recover from my shocked state.

"Retrieve your sword, come on," she ordered.

And I obeyed, without delay. I found it reassuring to have someone to give me orders, to tell me what to do at that moment. My hands were cold and trembling, my eyes darted all over, on the alert.

"Your arm," she noted. "You're bleeding."

I stared at her without saying anything.

Arenis sighed. "Stay behind me, understood?"

I nodded and followed Arenis into that disparate tide of people clashing against each other, killing each other mercilessly. Arenis fought deftly and pierced a slew of Spaniards in a matter of minutes. I stayed close to her, and as soon as she saw that I needed help, she came to my aid. I watched as she struck a man in the stomach, stabbing him through and through, the tip of her sabre sticking out of his back. Arenis freed her weapon with a yank, shoved her opponent away and took off again, attacking the unfortunate man who was walking past her.

Fear made time slow down and it felt like the fight was taking days, even weeks. When it was over and I realized victory was ours, I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful to still be alive.

Arenis' crew cheered in victory, raising their weapons in the air.

It was only then that I realized how much my arm hurt; my whole sleeve was dyed scarlet. I pressed my hand to the open wound, from which blood continued to gush.

"Adler, still alive?" Dinnington ran toward me, a smile on his lips. "I saw you; you fought well." He patted me on the shoulder, then his expression changed abruptly. "Miss Adler? Are you...? "

My eyes rolled back and I lost consciousness.

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