The Life Of Trans Phan

Transohobic or not, I'll always love you

Phils POV

What's worse than being genderfluid? Being best friends with someone that's openly transphobic, that's what. I love him, we're best friends and we always will be. But that makes it hurt so much more.

I'm closer with Dan than I am with anyone else. I'd even go as far to say that we're soulmates. Every transphobic comment is like a stab to my heart. Every time he makes fun of a Nonbinary person, I want to cry. It's getting too much to bare, but I honestly don't know what to do.

I just want him to stop.

Deep down, though, I know that won't happen. I can't live my life like this; in fear of being myself. I have to tell him.

---

"Hey Dan, we need to talk," I piped up. We were cuddled up on the sofa watching Attack on Titan. My head was rested on his chest and his arms were tucked around me. The episode had finished and I finally worked up the courage to do what needed to be done.

"What about?" He asked curiously, sitting up and untangling his arms from around my body. I shuffled to the other side of the sofa and pulled my knees up, wrapping my arms around them and resting my chin on my knee.

"Well, actually there's something I need to tell you," I told him, trying to keep my breathing under control. I refused to cry in front of him, no matter what happened.

"Oh okay, what is it?" Dan replied, his voice soft and calming. I just hoped it'd stay that way.

"I'm, I'm, oh my god Dan I'm Transgender," I blurted out suddenly. Tears were welling in my eyes already and I refused to look at Dan, "I know you hate transgender people and I know you hate me now but I couldn't keep this from you any longer,"

"Phil," Dan breathed out. I buried my head in my arms as I betrayed myself and let the tears fall from my eyes. Dan sighed heavily and started shuffling closer to me. When I felt two hands resting gently on my shoulders, I looked up. Dan had tears in his eyes and he was looking at me with a mix of guilt and sorrow.

"Transphobic or not, I'll always love you," He whispered softly.

"You don't hate me?" I asked in shock.

"Phil, I could never hate you!" Dan said, his thumb wiping away my tears, "Does this mean you're a girl now though?"

I giggled a little at his comment, "No, well sometimes, I'm genderfluid, so my gender changes,"

"So you're a boy on some days and a girl on others?" He questioned. I could see that he didn't really understand, but I definitely appreciated him trying to understand.

"Exactly," I told him, smiling a little bit.

"That's weird," He remarked, but then realised what he said and sighed, "Sorry,"

"It's okay, I know you won't not be transphobic now."

"I've never liked Transgender people because I never understood them, Phil. Maybe you can help me understand?"

"Of course Dan!" I exclaimed. He laughed through his tears and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me onto his lap.

"I'm going to try Phil, I swear I'll try," He whispered into my ear, "Just know that I accept and love you, no matter what I say or how I act."

"Thank you."

---

He wasn't lying when he said he'd try, he really did. Dan didn't always succeed, but I could see how hard he was trying to be supportive. One day I got home and found him filming a video about supporting Transgender people. I've never been prouder of him than when he uploaded that video.

What's better than being genderfluid? Being best friends with someone that'll always support you, no matter what.