The Life Of Trans Phan

It's not a disease?! - Agender! Dan

'Okay Dan, breathe,' I whispered to myself, taking in large inhales of air and slowly breathing it out, attempting to calm myself down. I was standing infront of our living room door, trying to work out what I was going to say when I finally came out to my boyfriend of five years, Phil.

'Hey babe, I'm Agender? No. Phil I'm not a man. Ha, definitely not. Ugh. Why is this so hard!" I muttered to myself, 'Baby I'm Agender? No! Fuck, you know what, I'm just going to go in there and flipping tell him!"

So quickly, before I could back out, I pushed the door open and stepped into the room. The Mario Karts music was the first thing I noticed, making me smile when I saw the huge grin on Phils face because he's currently in first place. I waited patiently until Phil had won, watching as he performed a mini victory dance to celebrate.

I awkwardly cleared my throat, "Um, Phil, can we talk?" He jumped, turning round and looking at me with wide eyes.

"How long have you been standing there? And yeah sure," He said hurriedly, sitting back down on the sofa and patting the spot next to him.

"Long enough to see your victory dance, " I said teasingly, sticking my tongue out as I sat next to him.

"You saw that?!" He groaned, covering his face in his hands.

"Yup," I replied, popping the 'p' and giggling at my adorable boyfriend.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" He questioned, sitting up and giving me his full attention.

"Okay, so um, this is a big part of my life and has been since I was a teenager. I've been to countless support groups and I've had tonnes of surgery and basically, I really hope you are as supportive as everyone else has been. So Phil, I'm Agender," I said, the words just tumbling out of my mouth. He stared at me in shock, his beautiful blue eyes going wide and then suddenly, they filled with tears that started pouring down his face.

"Phil, what's wrong?" I asked, wrapping my arms around him and letting him cry into my shoulder. Honestly I was expecting every reaction but this!

"Dan I don't want you to die!" He sobbed hysterically, drenching my tee shirt.

Die?

"Phil, why would I die?" I asked him, stroking his back.

"You're, you're Agender!" He tried to say while sobbing.

"Babe, I'm not going to die because I'm Agender!" He slowly looked up at me.

"But those kind of diseases kill everyone!" He exclaimed, the sobs racking his body slowing down slightly. Realisation hit me like a brick.

"Phil, being Agender isn't a disease you silly goose!!" I told him, smiling at my boyfriend as he looked up at me, eyes full with confusion.

"It, it isn't?" He sniffled. I shook my head fondly at him.

"No, it just means that I'm not a boy but I'm not a girl! It's to do with gender identity you pumpkin!" I explained, watching as a small giggle slipped from his lips.

"Oh my gosh! Dan you really had me scared then!" He said, jokingly punching my arm.

"It's not my fault you thought being Agender is a disease!" I teased, laughing when he stuck his tongue out at me.

"Oh shut up!" He whined, crossing his arms and pouting, "But for real, I'm totally okay with you know? What pronouns do you like?"

"They/ Them or male pronouns," I told him, grateful that he had asked.

"Okay, I'll make sure to remember that!"

"Thanks Phil, even if you are a bit idiotic at times!"

"Hey!"

A/N: Okay sorry, that was pretty dumb but I thought the idea of Phil thinking it was a horrific illness would be pretty funny :)