Chapter 26 - Self love comes from self doubt

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"Are you alright?" Tommy asks quietly. "Leave me alone, Tom." Cass replies bluntly, not even bothering to look at him. Tommy sighs and continues to watch the road. They have been in the car for almost two hours, and Cass has been silently crying the whole time.

"Cass-" He tries to speak to her again but is cut off. "Tommy, I know it was my plan, I know this is my fault, and I know that I have no right to be upset. You don't have to tell me that. Just get me home and, for the love of God, shut up." Cass snaps, releasing everything she knows he's been keeping in for the journey so far.

This is enough for Tommy to keep to himself for the rest of the drive back to Birmingham. He knows how she is when she's upset and would hate to be in her bad books again. The siblings sit in silence until they reach their family home. Cass immediately starts to get out of the car before abruptly stopping and relaxing into her seat. Tommy notices this and copies her actions.

"I don't want them to know about the baby." Cass says meekly after a few minutes of silence. "Ok. So what should we tell them?" Tommy asks, almost intrigued to hear the answer. "I don't know." Cass admits, looking down into her lap as more tears start to flow. "It's ok. Come here." Tommy whispers, pulling her in for a hug. "Is he going to be ok?" She whispers desperately. "Of course he is. Alfie's one of the most dangerous men in the country. If he doesn't come out of this alive everything would have been for nothing. I know you're worried for him, but you need to think about your child. All of this stress isn't good." Tommy says reassuringly.

Cass cries into his chest for a few more minutes before clearing her throat and straightening herself up. She wipes her face and takes a deep breath. "What should we tell them?" She asks nervously. "For now, let's not tell them anything. Arthur needs to think that Alfie is betraying us. It has to look real. Don't worry, I've got your back." Tommy replies, placing his hand on hers and squeezing it lightly. "Ok. Let's go." Cass says with a shaky sigh.

~

"Tommy, she's been back three weeks and has barely spoken to us, let alone left her room. What the fuck is going on?" John argues, clearly worried for the well-being of his sister. "Alfie left her." Tommy replies sadly, clearly shocking his brother. "He fucking what? I'm going to kill him." John says angrily, readying his gun in his holster. "No you're not. She asked me to not tell anyone, so keep it to yourself." Tommy says sternly, standing in John's way to prevent him from leaving the room.

Unknown to John, this was planned. Cass had planned with Tommy that he would tell the family since she didn't want to see any of them. Although it wasn't real, it felt like it to Cass. She had been grieving the life she wanted with Alfie. Her worries are consuming her, and her mind is tricking her into believing that she has actually lost him. Luckily, Tommy was always there for her. He spent most nights in her room trying to comfort her.

"What are we going to do about him?" John asks through his teeth, his anger still evident. "For now, nothing. We have to let her get over it on her own. Then it's up to her. If she asks us to do something then we will, but for now we need to focus on everything else that's going on. She'll come to us in her own time." Tommy says, helping his younger brother to understand Cass's healing process.

No one in the family has experienced Cass acting like this before, and they're all on edge about it. Granted, she had been like this on a smaller scale when she was a teenager and had caught her almost boyfriend kissing another girl but that was only for a few days. None of them like thinking that she's dealing with all of this alone, but Tommy knew she wasn't alone. He was the only person who knew the truth, and he was damn sure that he was going to help her through this.


~AN Hi guys! I'm so sorry that this took me so long to update (and that the story is slowing down quite a lot). I've been really busy with my new job and other job and have completely forgot to update - even when it was my full intention to. Future updates will probably be just as slow since I'm having trouble getting back into the swing of writing, but I promise that the story is going somewhere! Hope you're all well :) <3

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