I'll wait - nikki sixx

7 𖤐 shout at the devil

Warnings - mention of drug abuse

I thought I would've gotten use to being one of a rocker's multiple girlfriends', but I haven't felt like that in so long that I forgot what it felt like, and that made the recovery even worse.

This whole week, it's just been me alone, with a dozen of lines. I took the week of work so i wouldn't have to bump into Nikki, Mötley Crüe or any other rockers. I've been doing the most depressing shit like eating ice cream and smoking in the bath, doing a dozen lines then passing out. I thought going out would help but then I just felt too tired and trailed back home. Nikki on the other hand, I have no clue but he's probably screwing about 10 other girls.

I was sitting on my living room floor, which was an absolute mess. I decided that I can't live in this depressing state anymore and I need to get over Nikki, asap. Piles of food and paper were scattered all over my floor so I was going through it all, one by one, and deciding whether it was trash or to keep.

A small ticket and a lanyard hit my view. My hand has already gravitated towards it and picked them up before I could process what it even was.

It was my Shout at the Devil ticket and backstage lanyard. I looked at the lanyard, the red pentagram reminded me exactly of Nikki. I could feel the warmth of his hands as I was holding it, and it made me miss him even more.

Over the other side of the room was an outfit. I stood up, keeping the lanyard and ticket in my hand, and walked towards the outfit.

It was a red leather tube top, black leather pants, Nikki's leather jacket and some boots. Nikki picked that outfit for me.

A massive sigh escaped my rose lips as my eyes kept peering between the ticket, the outfit and the lanyard. When I said I needed to sort things out, maybe I didn't mean necessarily for myself, but for me and Nikki. I was stuck between how I was going to feel happy again and how to be in a happy, stable relationship, but now I know what I need to do.

-

Getting backstage was much easier than I thought. All I did was show them my pass and ticket and they let me in. But the most nerve racking part was finding Nikki, and hoping he was alone.

I walked around backstage, absolutely clueless. Rockers and men were looking me down like fresh meat and backstage workers just smiled politely at me.

Eventually, I saw Tom and was immediately relieved.

"Tom!" I said.

"Hey y/n what's up?" He said.

"Where's Nikki?" I asked.

"Down the hall in that room on the right." He pointed.

"Thanks." I smiled before trying to walk away.

"Oh and y/n." Tom called. I turned around to face him.

"Please help Nikki with his makeup and accessories. He's extremely sorry about what he did to you. And I'm- im sorry that i lied to you instead of telling you."

My heart felt a strike of warmth for a second. Someone was actually apologising to me for once.

"It's fine. I get it." I softly smiled before walking away, wanting to find Nikki desperately.

I stood in front of a plain white door, nervous. This could all be so easier if I just got over with and walked away, but I just can't. I would never forgive myself.

"Fuck it." I mumbled. I opened the door, without even knocking.

Nikki turned around, with smudged lipstick and messy black lines on his cheeks. He nearly had a heart attack when he saw me, he stared at me, wide eyed.

"Y/n." He stood up, slowly creeping towards me.

I stood there for a moment, just staring straight into him. If I ever said that I was going to avoid him then that was obviously a fucking lie.

"I can explain about-"

He tried to talk but I stormed over to him, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and moulding my lips against his. The kiss was mixed with anger and warmth.

I felt Nikki's hands move down to my hips then eventually to my ass. I grabbed his collar and pulled us towards the desk so I could sit down and wrap my legs around his torso.

Both of our breaths' were running short, and I didn't come here to just fuck Nikki. My hands cupped his cheeks, as I released from his red stained lips. With my thumb, I wiped away a lipstick stain just under his lip and smiled.

"Y/n I-" He panted, out of breath and generally not knowing what to say.

I brushed my index finger against his lip. "Shhh." I whispered.

My arms wrapped around his back and I rested my head against his neck. He put his arms around my stomach, hugging me back. I just wanted to stay like this forever.

"So." He panted, "Do you forgive me?" He said softly.

My head detached from his neck, looking into his green eyes softly. There was no way that I couldn't forgive him.

I nodded, "Yeah." I gulped. Just then, I realised that what I was saying and everything I was doing was going to have a major impact on what happened next.

He smiled, placing soft kisses against my jaw. "Nikki just...please stay with me." I whispered softly.

His eyes again locked with mine, as he stared deeply into my soul.

"Of course." He said.

"Nikki showtime in 8 minutes!" Tom shouted from outside, banging on his door.

"Yeah give me a sec!" Nikki shouted.

Nikki placed himself on the small stool underneath me.

I slowly traced a bit of eyeliner on his lower eye, applied some faint lipstick that he wanted and he asked for some black lines on his cheeks as he claimed that would make him look more "rock".

Me and Nikki left his room, walking to where the rest of the band was, well apart from Vince.

"Where's Vince?" Nikki said. "Show starts in 2 minutes." He slightly shouted.

Tommy pointed behind us, "Just finished doing Tom's date." He laughed.

Tommy was the only one who found it funny. Surprisingly, Nikki looked extremely pissed.

Vince came running back to us, winking at Tom and his girlfriend before laughing as he came to Nikki, expecting him to laugh as well.

"Dude we just signed a record deal with his company and fucking his girlfriend can seriously fuck that up!" Nikki quietly shouted at Vince. I was surprised that Nikki was so pissed.

"Only if he finds out, man." Vince snickered, causing Nikki to smirk and turn away.

Just as the band before them finished, Nikki and the rest of Mötley all huddled together, making a little speech.

Tommy, Vince and Mick ran on to stage, but Nikki stayed behind running up to me.

He put his arms around my waist and kissed me quickly before looking at me seriously. "Thank you." He said.

My eyebrows knitted together, "For what?" I said.

He shrugged, "I dunno. I guess I never excepted someone someone like you to come into my life and understand me. Like an angel." He said.

I cupped his cheeks, kissing him softly before telling him to get his ass in stage, which he eventually did.

Nikki ran on to stage, picking up his bass, Tommy was behind stage and already playing drums, Mick was playing his guitar and Vince was already shouting into the microphone.

Everyone in the crowd were already screaming, giving up rock hand signs and some girl had even stripped for them.

Little did I know that this was going to be something way much bigger than it was, and it was going to come by quicker than I could process.