I'll wait - nikki sixx

16 𖤐 it should've been you

Warnings: drug abuse

"W-wait." Nikki slurred as I bit marks all over his bare chest. I looked up at him, my vision blurry and my eyes a red mess. "What day is it?" He said, exhausted.

Slowly, I looked around the room to try and find a hint about what fucking day it was. The flashing lights outside my window caught my attention, and I finally realised.

"It's Christmas." I smiled to myself. He looked up at me, wide eyed, like he'd just remembered something really important.

"I think I got you a present.." He trailed off. He weakly pushed himself off me, trying to crawl to the other room. But of course, he was to powerless. His body shook every movement he made, which broke my heart even thought I was in the exact same state.

He collapsed on to the floor, like he just dropped dead.

"Nikki?" I called, leaning against the wall. No answer.

"Sixx, wake up." I sickly crawled towards him. He wasn't answering me, but I could hear him groaning.

I knelt over his body which was slumped on the floor. "Nikki." I said. I shook him a couple of times until he faintly moved. I turned him over on to his back, he looked worse than before. Pale skin, eye bags heavier than his eyeliner, sweat covering his face. He looked like he was dying. He was.

His eyes continued to roll up and down, luckily signalling me that he wasn't dead. I sighed, placing my head against his bare chest and I breathed in his scent, which stank of drugs but was somewhat comforting.

"M-merry Christmas." He muffled, slowly rubbing my back.

"Merry Christmas." It felt like we'd both passed out, but our heavy breathing filled the dark apartment.

"B-because I can't get your christmas present," He gulped, "I love you, y/n." He said.

My dead heart lit up as he said those four words. I knew I couldn't get too excited as none of us were anywhere near sober, but that was the fist time he ever said those delicate words.

"I love you too, Nikki." I traced circles on his stomach.

"Wait-" He sat up. "W-where's T bones, Vince and Mick?" He slurred, "And Michael and Razzle?"

Razzle. My heart sunk into my stomach when he mentioned that name. The past few days I managed to forget about Razzle. Not completely forgotten about him, but just erased the bad memories for a while. God how much I missed him. If he were here right now, I wouldn't even be doing heroin. My body tensed and it was like I was suddenly sober. Sometimes I wish I'd been the one who died, Razzle was more important anyways. He would've actually been doing something big right now instead of me, sitting in my apartment on christmas day, my favourite holiday, slowly killing myself.

Tears streaked my eyes as I tried to quickly crawl back to the closet, craving the drug which ached in my veins. I didn't want Nikki to see me even more of a mess as I was, so I ignored him calling my name.

I knelt on the floor, preparing the heroin for myself. Even though it wasn't even that long ago that I'd shot up again, I felt completely sober with all the thoughts of Razzle. But of course, I was still fucked up.

I tied the rubber messily around my arm, trying to find my vein which was covered in marks. Carefully, I injected the syringe into my vein, Razzle starting to fade away. The more the drug went into my arm, the more control I lost over reality. My mind went blank and I just couldn't think about anything, where I was, who Razzle was. Maybe because I had just given myself a shot not long before this one.

My vision started spinning more than usual, everything blurring up. The needle wasn't even out of my arm yet.

"Y/n?" Nikki called.