AALIYAH

III

taurus bartlett

"so you left her house and didn't tell her shit after?" my brother asked.

"fasho." i nod.

"was she cute?"

"she was decent as hell, i can't cap." i slightly smile.

"you got her instagram or you just fucked shorty."

"we just had sex that was it." i say "she ain't try to reach out to me nan either so it don't matter."

"whatever you say big homie." he pat my shoulder.

i looked at her number debating whether or not i should text her. it's been two long weeks since i dipped. she didn't try to contact me though which was very unusual. girls would usually leave death threats, at least called a million times, or pop up on me, she's done neither. i knew she was different.

i went to the studio and wrote about Her. she's all i could think about ay this very second.

aaliyah moor

"y'all won't believe who followed me on instagram." i say eating the frozen yogurt i had.

"who?"

"polo g?" maya said making me shake my head.

"no but Kandice son done followed me back."

"i wonder if he'll ever leave you alone."

"he's with Megan he oughta." i say scrapping the inside of the cup.

"girl please, we all know megan ain't all that." aria said and maya butt in.

"preach." she said like dolph.

"he better move on, he had all that time to get his act together and now he wanna fuck wit you when you not going for the fuckery no more." aria said making me nod.

"i'm not going back yall." i chuckle.

"we know." maya says "we just want to be sure you don't either."

"i can't let myself get hurt like that again." i sigh.

"i know baby, it's all gonna get better." aria rubbed my shoulders.

"now with polo g i'm very disappointed in him." maya shook her head.

"girl it was just sex, that's all i needed and i got it." i shrug.

honestly i haven't thought much about him since it happened. he did work my body like he knew it but i wasn't finna go after no rapper. for him to embarrass me publicly and make me seem delusional? hell no i'll pass.

"was it good?" aria sat on the edge of her seat.

"yeah, real good." i smile.

"don't have flashbacks nie." maya joked and we laughed.

"he was fucking me like he knew me y'all." i blush just thinking back to that night.

"soul ties finna fuck y'all up." aria shook her head.

"i'll never see that boy again." i wave her off.

"shitttt how much y'all was bumping into each other, y'all gon meet again."

then i started wondering what if i did see him again? do i speak? knowing me i'll act like i didn't even see him, i wasn't one for confrontation.

"the family reunion in tennessee coming up, y'all going?" i ask.

"oh for sure." aria said.

"well if y'all going i ought as well." maya shrugged.

"we need a rental."

i left the living room going to my own bedroom. i was already in my night clothes so i just got in bed laying down.

flashback...

"so where's daddy?" i ask my mama as she flat ironed my hair for christmas photos.

"work." she says and i believed her.

"he's always at work." i pout.

"i know but it'll be okay." she says leaving me a bang in the front.

i had a bang and two straight ponytails she even let me wear lip gloss for the pictures we'd be taking at walmart.

"Ashlyn, you stand here." she directed my sister and my sister does as told and i lay on top of her.

"perfect." the photographer says snapping our pictures.

"your fathers calling." my mother says and after waiting a moment she passed the phone off to me.

"daddy!" i say excitedly.

"hey phat, how you holding up?"

"i'm doing fine." i smile as if he saw me.

"i miss you baby girl i really do." he says with a lot of commotion in the background.

"i miss you too daddy." i suddenly get sad. "ash, wants to talk too."

"give her the phone then baby." he says and i pass the phone off.

i was sad that my daddy would be missing yet another christmas, this has been the second one since him and mama divorced. i'm starting to think his job was working against me.

"he said he'd be home from work around new years." ash told me and i instantly got happy.

"oh really?" i was a daddy's girl, so bad at this time.

"mhm, he wants us to come over grandmas after he gets all the details."

ash was older than me, so she understood a lot more than me, i was 10 and she was 18.
flashback over...

for so many years i thought my dad was really on the road working, whole time he was in jail serving time. he'd get locked up for dui's (drinking under the influence) all the time.

i shed a tear and wipe it instantly i can't have sympathy for a man who couldn't pick me over drinking and drugs. i was the biggest daddy girl until i understood that he wasn't working, he'd be in and out of jail, the bond never stayed tight. after i hit 12 years old i hardly wanted anything to do with him. why get close to you just for you to go away again? i'd pass on that too.

i took a deep breath and got on my phone seeing what was trending at the moment. same shit as yesterday... i logged off instagram and took myself on a hiatus.

i often thought about my father or about what my family would be like if my mom and dad stayed together. i was grown now so i needed to let it go but for some reason i just couldn't.

i started crying again, i just couldn't help it. i stayed like that until i eventually went to sleep.