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aaliyah moor
"you'll listen if i start a podcast?" i ask polo as we laid up in the hotel room.
"yeah, well wait. it depends on what you talk about." he says rubbing my tummy.
"i'm thinking girl talk just gossip really." i shrug.
"i fuck wit it." he laughs full blown, he was low key geekin right now.
he was rolling off a whole pill, i hate it but he couldn't seem to leave em alone.
"last pill right?" i ask and he nods.
"that's the last for real." he says trying to look me in my face but his eyes wouldn't let him.
i was nervous for the outcome of this, i could end up like my mother in any moment.
"last one." i whisper to myself massaging his scalp.
i told myself i'd never pop a pill and i stood on that for approximately 20 years. but one day i did decide to step outside my comfort zone. then it just kept happening.
i was so out of my body i was like a zombie almost.
flashback...
it was two o'clock in the morning and Kameron failed to bring his ass home. like the crazy bitch i am, i was waiting for him in the living room with all the lights off and a butchers knife was in hand.
did he really have the nerve to cheat on me after he told me to come over? no way.
my mind was running wild. i kept getting these thoughts.
"kill em!" a voice said.
"don't kill 'em liyah." the good angel said.
"i'm killing him." i flick the thought away.
i was fucked over one too many time by the same person, why couldn't i just leave? that nigga had a part of me i couldn't get back, that's why.
he took my virginity when i was just 17 years old, and now he didn't care for me, and i couldn't get that back. he took something from me that'll never get back.
a tear ran down my face and i let it. i heard a car beep and i prayed to God. forgive me for my sins and watch over me tonight, the demons took over me.
"are you cheating?" i thought i heard.
he walked through that door and it was showtime.
the voices went back in forth in my head and i walked over to him slowly.
"liyah?" the fuck you got that knife for.
"are you cheating on me?" i ask and another hot tear came down my cheek.
the voices chant again arguing on my next thought after his words left his lips.
