! dreamnap oneshots !

× why am i like this? ×

i might rewatch heartstopper bc i just had the most messy break up🙏🙏
YES THIS IS AFTER THE SONGS STUPIDS

sapnaps pov

everyone knows dream is the most popular boy in school.

even with that, he still gets made fun of for his sexuality. everyone found out he was gay in 9th grade and he gets picked on all the time.

people still love him but there's still the people who refuse to.

me and dream are on weird terms.

he loves to compliment me. when he sees me in the halls he will compliment my hair, outfit, whatever.

i sit next to him in math and sometimes he would just look at me and call me pretty.

i don't think anything of it because i'm straight.

i don't like dream like that. sure, he's fun to be around and always makes me laugh but that's just how friends are.

we just enjoy each others company.

it's nothing serious.

——

i slumped down in my seat. i watched dream sit down next to me, a smile on his face.

"hi dream." i said. dream smiled at me. "hi sapnap!" he happily said. his happiness seemed to be contagious since i became happy as well.

"why are you so happy?" i asked him.

he paused. "do you want to go to a party with me?" he asked, completely changing the subject. i ignored the change in topics. "sure! when is it?" i asked.

"...tonight."

i shrugged. that's fine. i didn't care how prepared i was for it.

"i'll be there!"

——

dream dragged me along to the party i didn't expect to go to. he said he didn't want to lose me so he would hold my hand as he brought me places.

he ignored anyone who tried to talk to him. he just brought me places.

he pulled me down to a corner where not many people were. he pulled me down to sit with him.

i faced him and he smiled. "hi sapnap!"

i chuckled. dream was always in a good mood. i adore his smile and good attitude towards the world.

"so like, what do we do?" i asked. dream shrugged, not having a clue how to entertain ourselves.

dream moved closer to me. he pulled out his phone as he rested his head on my shoulder. he decided to play some random game and let me watch.

——

i don't know where along the lines of me watching dream play flappy bird turned into me and dream playing spin the bottle with strangers.

i only did it because i thought it would be funny. dream was just intrigued to do it in the first place.

me and dream sat down with distance from one another. i'm not sure why.

some guy started off and spun an empty glass bottle on the floor.

here's how the game rules were:
someone spins, whoever it first lands on, they're the ones kissing someone.
then they will spin it again and the it lands on who they're kissing.

got it?

people were playing the game and it was funny to see people's reactions. some thought it was funny or true love.

eventually the bottle gets spun and lands on dream. "ooo dream!" cooed the guy who was spinning it. dream scoffed. "hope it's a guy." he mumbled.

i don't think anyone heard it except me.

the bottle was spun, landing on anyone. dream watched it intently, waiting for it to stop.

eventually the movements slowed and it stopped.

the bottle had been pointed at me, meaning dream had to kiss me.

even though i'm straight.

dream got up and moved. he sat in front of me. he softly put his hands on my jawline as i kept mine in my lap.

dream slowly pulled me into a soft loving kiss. i slowly kissed back, letting myself feel his lips and appreciate the feeling.

his lips were soft. i could tell he put chapstick on them not too long ago. he was soft and loving to me.

i loved the feeling.

we pulled away and dream moved back to his spot.

my mind went blank. everything that had just happened had finally processed in my head.

i kissed a guy.

and liked it.

my thoughts moved around. since when did i like boys? is it normal to like it when a boy kisses you? is this a regular feeling?

i began to panic. the one thing i had been told for years was that i was a boy who liked girls.

not a boy who liked other boys.

i was lost. i had enough of sitting there so i stood up and walked away.

i had never felt this way before, why am i feeling it now?

i walked until i was out of the house and on the porch.

why am i like this?

——

instead of sleeping, i was staring at my ceiling thinking about dream kissing me. every detail, the delicacy he had, how loving he made it feel.

i sighed.

am i gay?

the only questioned that lingered in my mind. was this normal? i don't know any gay guys other than dream.

i continued looking at my ceiling. i didn't know questioning your sexuality was this hard.

i don't know what i am and i don't think i will. i don't think dream ever went through this. everything has been easier to him.

since when did i love a guy?

——
words: 911

good shit i write