! dreamnap oneshots !

</3 you've lost yourself </3

vent.

karl's pov

"dream come on, you know he's alright! maybe he just needs some time to himself and can't tend to a relationship." i tried to reason with dream. he slammed his hands down on the table.

"god damnit karl you don't get it!" he shouted. it was obvious he was crying again.

i sighed. i really tried to understand what dream was going through but i've never gone through it so it's hard to get him.

"dream..." i said quietly. i knew he couldn't help how his thoughts were all over the place and he was panicking, it's how his brain is wired.

but a past experience stays in his head.

last time sapnap didn't talk to dream he found out sapnap tried to kill himself. he didn't reach out or say anything, just went.

dream lost it.

he's so worried about him now. he wants to be there but he can't.

because he's reliving that experience all over again.

sapnap isn't talking to him, there's no trace of him and none of his friends have heard from him either.

and dreams going through it all again.

i noticed he began sobbing. i frowned. i hated seeing him like this. i wanted to solve this and help him but it's not like i can do much.

i walked over to dream and hugged him. he tightly wrapped his arms around me and began to sob into my shoulder.

"i can't do this again karl! i can't," he sobbed. i rubbed his back. i just decided to let him say anything he needed to. i didn't need to reply. just let him get everything off his chest.

"it's not like i ever see him anymore so i can't ask if he's okay. since when do you not tell your boyfriend you tried to kill yourself or you're going through something? he used to always reach out to me and i was always happy to help!"

i hummed to show i was listening. i could feel my shoulder becoming wet with tears. i squeezed dream tighter to try and help release some built up pain.

i wanted him to know that i was there and that i cared about how he felt.

he continued to sob into my shoulder.

"is it something i said? was i not there enough? i tried to be! i really did! i didn't want him to leave me. he meant the world to me."

i shook my head. "dream it wasn't something you said. it isn't remotely your fault. you did everything you could, i promise you." i whispered to him.

"then why did he try and not say a single thing to me?" he angrily asked.

i went quiet.

i didn't know how to feel anymore. i get what he's going through and he's not sure if he needs to be grieving or not.

but i couldn't answer that question.

i didn't want dream to blame himself and neither would sapnap. sapnap would never blame dream, his own boyfriend, over that.

"i want him back. i want him back more than anything. fuck, i wish i were dead so i didn't have to go through this bullshit."

hearing those words made me understand dreams lost himself. he's blaming himself for all of this.

something he can't control.

"dream, it's not your fault. i promise you." i said. dream shook his head no. "don't try to make me feel better." he spat out.

i nodded slowly to show i understood.

i felt horrible that he had to go through all of this.

"karl, i'm his boyfriend. he shouldn't be pretending i don't care about him! i've tried everything to make him feel better."

"maybe broken people can't fix broken people."

——

dreams not the same. this has been going on for so long i cant even recognize dream anymore. he's lost himself. a big part of himself remains with sapnap.

and sapnaps gone.

does he know where he is? no. does anyone? no.

he's just resulted to think he attempted suicide again.

dream misses him and it's so obvious but he try's to not show emotion since he doesn't want to be seen as "cringe".

but your feelings aren't cringe. it's fine that he feels this way.

all i can do is hope sapnaps okay and that he's back with dream soon.

before grief sneaks up and he's back to where he used to be 9 months ago.

and he's tried to get better from those 9 months but grief sticks no matter what.

and he's just going through it again.

...

i hope sapnap gets better.

——
words: 772

pov: ur dream and ur bf is sapnap XD