"Mj?" Harry is disoriented as he opens the door and takes in my state. "What's wrong?" He asks becoming more alert once he realises that I wasn't all right. I don't respond and instead step forwards, wrapping my arms around him.
He doesn't hesitate in holding me back, one of his hands rubbing my back, the other running through my hair comfortingly. We stand in his doorway for a while, he doesn't say anything as he holds me he just waits until I pull away and am ready to talk.
"I uh, I'm sorry for just showing up here and uh, I just. I just needed someone and I didn't know where else to go." He smiles at my words, something I choose not to think about in the moment. "No, no don't worry about it, I'm glad you came. Why don't you come in?"
I follow him through his house, we stop at the living room and I suddenly find myself feeling slightly awkward, like coming here was a mistake. "Mj?" I turn to him to see he's watching me expectantly. "What happened?" I can't help it, I begin crying again because, I don't want to say it, I don't want to have to live with reality. It just wasn't right, it wasn't fair.
"Oh hey, hey it's ok. Whatever it is, it's ok Mj or it will be." He says quick to comfort me again. "It won't Harry, things will never be ok again, I don't know what I'm supposed to do now?" He seems at a loss probably because I've not yet told him what's going on.
"My mom died." I blurt it out as my jaw trembles, my eyes stinging like the tears streaming down my cheeks were acid and my enitre body shudders violently. "I just, I needed someone who would understand." He nods in understanding as he steps forward and pulls me back into his arms. "I'm so sorry Mj." He mumbles as I muffle my cries into his shoulder.
This probably should've been the last thing on my mind but I found myself still wanting Peter, even if he was with Gwen.
***
Once the pain fades into numbness Harry and I are just sat drinking his extensive collection of alcohol. We hardly speak between sips. I put my glass down and turn ro Harry, he's already looking at me in the pitiful way, that irks me because I wanted things to feel like normal even if they weren't, it's the whole reason I wasn't going home.
"What?" He asks gently as we stare at each other, "don't pity me please." He nods, "it's a bit hard not to, your mom just died." I nod myself, glad that my body was out of tears completely. "Mj I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." I don't have a response for him so I don't say anything, but I know he didn't mean anything malicious by it so I'm not that bothered.
We drink some more and slowly just begin to lose our minds. We end up laying side by side on his ridiculously comfortable rug, laughing at god knows what seeing as we can't remember. As we begin to quiet down my thoughts become more prominent. I'm so lonely and I'm so sick of being lonely. I want someone who will love me and be there for me. I want companionship, I just don't want to be so godamn alone.
"What're you thinking about?" Harry asks turning to face me, I join him so that we're laying on our sides, facing one another. "I'm so alone Harry and I'm so sick of being alone." I admit making him shake his head. "You're not alone Mj, you have me, always." Maybe it's the alcohol or his words but either way it makes me feel warm and fuzzy and so I don't think, or maybe I do, when I lean forwards and connect my lips to his.
"Mj what are-"
"I know you like me Harry."
He blinks for a second and then he kisses me back, not saying a single thing. I don't care because honestly the only thing on my mind was at least I wasn't alone anymore and at least I was with someone who actually wanted me.
***
When I wake up the next day I'm alone. I can tell from the light pouring through the window that it's at least midday. I lay still for a moment before rationalising that I should probably go home now. Gayle would need me for whatever we'd have to start sorting out. I roll over and saviour Harry's ridiculously luxurious bed, wishing I could hide here forever. I wasn't ready to face reality yet.
I try and locate some normal clothes for me to pull on but Harry's room is stupidly complicated and all I can find are his formal business clothes. I shrug on one of his work shirts and decide to go and find my own clothes, I'm sure I left them downstairs.
"Harry do you know where I-" I stop speaking abruptly as I see that Harry is not alone, Peter is with him, well Spider-Man. Both boys turn to me and I find myself feeling self conscious of how I was dressed, I try and tug his shirt down a bit lower as I try and think of how to break the awkwardness.
"Um hi, nice to meet you Spider-Man." Is all I can get out before I quickly grab my discarded clothes which I see poking out from behind the couch and start heading back to the door. "I'm gonna go home now Harry, speak to you later." I rush out before sprinting back up the stairs and getting myself dressed in record time.
I rush to leave his house undetected by both boys and begin on my walk of shame back home.
***
"Mj! Mj!" I turn to see Peter, still in his suit, swinging after after me. I don't know what I'm gonna say to him now.
