Forever with you | ashtray

CHAPTER FIVE

italics is narrated
Bold is messages
                               (Serenity point of view)
"princess wake up." i heard my dad say as i was being shook awake.

"princess it's 6:40am" he whispered.

"are you up." he asked me when i throw the blankets at him.

i dig my face into the pillow as i stick out my arm to him and show him a thumbs up.

"okay i'm gonna make breakfast so you can eat before you leave."

"okay you got my stuff for school right?" i asked him before he left.

"yeah i got you paper, folders, pencils, highlighters, pens, markers, and color pencils." he said and put my blanket i threw at him on my bed.

"are you gonna shower?" he asked me.

"yeah. i'll be down in a little." i said before he started walking out.

"can you turn on my light." i told him before he closed the door.

he turned on my light before he closed my door.

i grab my phone to see all my notifications i don't usually open them cause i get hundreds and hundreds sometimes if i post something i'll get thousands of notifications. don't get me wrong i try to reply to some people if it's like there birthday or something important. or if there's edits of me i'll like a couple and save them.

i look to the top right corner and sigh as i realize my phone isn't fully charged. i swipe down on the top right corner and look at the percentage. 26%.

i grab my charger, and plug in my phone

i grab my towels one for my hair and one for my body. i walk to my closet while wiping my eyes. i'm tired as fuck. i couldn't sleep last night i was too nervous to finish school i mean yeah i'm always getting my picture taken from all angels when i'm modeling but it's different.

the people watch me cause they wanna see me and they have no access to me. at school i have to be there, i have to socialize with people, i just hope i don't get a hard history class. i can't focus on history class, the information just doesn't sit right with me i don't know how or why but i can't grasp all the wars, the places, the people.

the only things i can actually have a conversation about is the attack on pearl harbor, the holocaust, and just little things here and there for instance, 21 points, treaty of versailles, zimmerman's note. and most stuff about the world war I.

enough about my lack of historical events.

i end up getting into the shower. not before connecting my phone to my alexa and playing music. the first song that plays is no role modelz by j cole

"don't save her she don't wanna be saved, don't save her she don't wanna be saved." i hummed as i pumped shampoo into my hands and rubbed them together before soothing it into my scalp.

"no role models and i'm here right now no role models to speak of searching through my memory, my memory, i couldn't find one."  i mumble out as i put my head directly under the water so the shampoo can come out.

i hate when you be thinking you washed your hair out and before you dry it with a towel you try to squeeze the extra water out but you end up touching to top of your head and you hear the crunchy kinda sound indicating you still have soap in your hair. so then you have to turn the water back on and make sure it's warm enough to put your whole body into it again.

but these lyrics hit home when you can relate to them. like i can't wait to have my own family so i can show my kids all the support and love i can give. yeah i'll buy them what they need and every once in a while i'll spoil them but i want my kinds to be humble. i want them to know the value of a dollar. i don't ever want my kids to be like "mom i cleaned my room can i get $20" because i was never paid for cleanup