Dreams

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I can put a brave face on in front of friends and family. They think I'm dealing with it better than I was before. I’m not. It’s never gotten easier for me. It’s only gotten harder, especially since the nightmares started. Always the same, and every damn night. I should be used to them by now, but even after a month they still scare me.

Y/n, why did you leave me here to die?

You were already dead, Eddie! I waited hours, hoping you just passed out but you never woke up. The gates were closing and I had to get out. I’m sorry Eddie.

It's your fault I'm like this now. Dead and alone, stuck in this place because you were too worried about your damn self to even think about me!

That's not true Eddie, I love you and you know that! Do you think I wanted to leave you there?! It broke my heart more than you’ll ever know. 

I usually wake up crying and can’t stop myself. Sometimes I swear I see him in the shadows of my room, but when I turn the lights on he’s not there. Why would he be? He couldn’t be.

Could he? No y/n that’s stupid and you know it. 

Last night changed all of that though. After putting Ivy to bed, I went to lay down and read. It was raining but I left the window open a crack because I always loved the smell of rain. I must have been tired because I fell asleep within minutes of beginning my book. 

A loud bang from Ivys’ room woke me up and I ran to her room, stopping just outside her door when I heard her cooing and someone humming. The familiar hum that used to calm me when I had panic attacks, the same song at that. 

I slowly turned into her room, seeing someone holding and rock bouncing her. Fear set in but I couldn't move any closer. The familiar smell of nicotine, weed and vanilla flooded my nose.

No. That’s not possible. It can’t be. 

“Eddie?” He turned to look at me, still rocking Ivy and smiled.

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