It's Just Casual

Chapter 23

The rest of the day, I let the kids do Arts & Crafts however they liked, because I was in no mood to explain anything to them. Usually, I managed pretty well to keep my emotions and private life separated from school, but right now, the conversation with Regina was fresh in my mind.

It had been a while since I'd last liked someone in a way that wasn't just friendship and it was still very fresh with Regina, yet the rejection hurt. I understood it and in hindsight I realized we never would've worked, but that was too late.

When all the students went home, I stayed in the classroom, cleaning up any leftover paper, glue and whatnot. I knew I was supposed to head to the teacher's room immediately, but I was in no mood to see Regina.

I postponed going over there for ten minutes, but I knew I couldn't hold off any longer. So, I went to the lounge and saw through the window of the door that everybody else was present and had their mouths shut.

"You're late," Regina said, once I'd entered the room. Everyone was eagerly staring at us, but I ignored Regina's comment and gaze. "Fortunately, everyone was so kind as to wait on you."

I knew she was still looking at me, but I kept pretending I didn't notice it. I sat down next to Ruby, who looked concerned at me.

"What's up?" she mouthed, as Regina continued her story.

"She dumped me," I whispered back. "Well, we didn't have a relationship, but you know.."

"What?! She dumped you?!" Ruby whispered, utterly baffled, and she had her eyebrows raised.

"Well, maybe I dumped her. I don't really remember. We've stopped every.."

"Care to discuss anything with the group?" Regina asked loudly and I looked at her for the first time since we'd had our conversation. I hated that she was acting just like usual, it clearly didn't bother her at all. I'd appreciated our friendship and casual intimacy, but both of that had disappeared, that much was clear.

"Well," Ruby started, but I squeezed her thigh, to make her shut up.

"No," I harshly said and kept my piercing gaze on her. She didn't seem the slightest bit intimidated, but neither did I. She didn't scare me, no matter how hard she tried.

Graham started giggling. "I can't believe you two fucked," he said and some other teachers started laughing too.

"Shut your fucking mouth, Graham. I am so done with you, God." I rolled my eyes, but he kept smiling. "You know what, I'm done with this whole meeting. I'm going. I'm sure you can email us whatever it is you need to say."

"Emma.." Regina tried, but I walked away and left the room. Everyone just annoyed the shit out of me and I didn't feel like I had to put up with that kind of nonsense. So, I walked to my yellow bug and drove home.

~~~~~

"Mom," Henry asked. He'd spent the entire afternoon at his grandparents and we were driving home. I looked at him through my rearview mirror and mentally prepared myself for the question that would follow. It would most certainly have something to do with Regina. I couldn't believe he hadn't asked questions about it before.

I didn't really know what I had to tell him. I couldn't say Regina and I had been casual fuck buddies, but we'd stopped, because she hadn't wanted things to become too serious. I also couldn't say I liked Regina, because he wouldn't understand why I would stop hanging out with her from now on. I guessed I'd just have to lie to him and say we're friends, even though that wouldn't explain the kiss.

Maybe Henry didn't think kisses were that serious. Maybe he knew you could be physically intimate with someone, without connecting emotionally. But then again, he was seven and a kid, so he didn't understand a lot of things. I didn't think I myself understood the whole situation with Regina.