The Rule Book

School Lunch

If you read school rules then you may have heard me mention something about the school lunch rules. I actually wrote these on a paper but a lot of things unfortunately were redacted and taken away, so I am rewriting them here where hopefully little to nothing will be redacted. If something is, pray it wasn't important.

1. Get to the lunch room as quickly as possible. You only have 25 minutes to eat.

2. I would choose a seat not too close, but not too far from an exit. If a human emergency were to happen (ex: fire, fights, shooter, etc) then you would want to get out of there. But if a "non-regular" emergency were to happen then it would be best to be away from the exit.

3. The lines 1&2 are meant for humans. Still, don't eat the meat unless your a cannibal. Don't throw it away though, it can be used later.

4. Sit with friends! Enjoy lunch. Use this time to ease your mind.

5. Please pick up any trash you see, it would greatly help the janitors and staff.

6. If a lights out event happens in the cafeteria, it's probably the safest place you can be due to the amount of staff in there. Still, make sure that you have all your limbs and facial features and that your friends have all of theirs. If so there is no need to do anything else. If you see missing limbs, facial features, or your friends are missing there's, refer to rule 6.a

6.a. I would usually never advise this but if you or your friends are missing anything or look even slightly off then stab your eyes with a fork. I'm sorry, I wish I had better instructions. I know it will hurt. Please just wait, the staff will help you when the lights return.

7. Keep your face, shirt, and skin clean. You must look presentable because after all, you are a symbol of the school.

8. The white figure is known as the chef. He stands near the garbage cans. This is one entity you may make eye contact with. When you throw your trash away tell him thank you for the meal and that the meal was good. He will not respond but know he acknowledges you.

9. Do not make chef angry. You could become [REDACTED]

10. Do not go to the dark part of the cafeteria, that is not your place.

11. If a girl walks up to you, asking if you want her cookie because she wasn't hungry, politely decline. There's some form of poison in there.

12. The principle will be walking around at this time, nod at him for acknowledgment. You are also safe if you see the principle walking around.

13. If you see staff attacking a student, do not pay the staff any mind, that was not a student.

14. If you by chance see a 9 foot tall person with no eyes then, RUN IT WILL [REDACTED]

15. When you are done with your lunch and the bell rings you may exit the lunch room. If you saved any meat from earlier, just leave it in the hall. It likes the meat and can possibly spare you later.

16. If you see the chef following you, you did a rule wrong. Get on your hands and knees and pretend you are dead. The chef can't use you if your literally dead meat.

I always love school lunch. Such a social time where I can eat my food and talk to friends. Oh that reminds me.

Side note: if you happen to sit near a door and it passes, stab your friend and offer them to the creature. This will help your chances of survival later.

Yes it's gruesome, yes I know their your friend, but sometimes we have to make necessary sacrifices unfortunately. As always I have to put a disclaimer that if the chef is chasing you unfortunately you cannot go to other staff. They are stronger then it but they are not stronger then the chef.

Yours truly ~[REDACTED]