The Rule Book

Grandma's house

Hello and welcome. Before I began writing these rules for people like you, I experienced a lot of these scenarios first hand, so I have many stories to tell. Let me begin that I never had felt such chills before this day and this experience changed everything I thought was real. You hear this all the time. But nothing compares to what I'm about to tell you. Let me begin. This is where it all started...

It was a cloudy, humid, dull day. I think it was [REDACTED] C.L. but that's besides the point. I am a six foot five tall male so I consider myself to be pretty up there in terms of height. Maybe not a giant but I feel as though I could take a majority of high schoolers in a fight. I did wrestling for eight years of my life and boxing for another two. I guess you could say I'm pretty built but that's also besides the point. I'm in my final year of college currently. My grandma who is eighty eight years old and lives alone just so happens to live near my college campus.

When she gave me the offer to live in her house rent free with the exception of a few odd rules I happily agreed. I thought in my head, "wow! I'll be saving thousands hopefully. Maybe ten or twenty grand." And I did but that's besides the point. That wasn't worth it. When grandma said a few rules I figured it would be the basics. Keep the house clean. Cook a few meals. You can invite friends over but only on the weekends, etc. you know, normal respectful house rules.

So when I first arrived at grandmas house and the door swung open without grandma there I was a little confused. Somehow a little paranoid but I brushed that off. I sauntered further into the house shouting her name. When I say shouting, I mean you could have heard me from ten miles away. This woman had lost a majority of her hearing. It was really a big pain sometimes and she often refused to wear her hearing aids. Eventually after circling the decently sized two story house five times I went into the kitchen to see if she had left a note on the counter or fridge and sure enough there was a folded piece of Manila paper along with a post it note.

The post it note read: "hello [REDACTED] I've been waiting for you. If I'm not home when you get here then lock yourself in the master bedroom and read these rules carefully. That's all, I'll be back soon. Love grandma"

I shook my head. Why did she need me to lock the bedroom door? But that's besides the point. Grandma was also not as keen as she used to be. She's getting older, constantly cold, the distant looking eyes. You know, the works. But I didn't want to upset my elderly grandmother whom I loved deeply so I took the Manila note to the bedroom and locked the door carefully unfolding the edges of the paper. Making sure this wasn't a prank left by my brothers or maybe some other family member who came in to check on grandma. In the note contained the following.

1. My bedroom is the safest of the house. If anything were to happen out of the ordinary then run to my bedroom and lock yourself in there.

2. Keep the kitchen tidy and take out the trash every single night. Pick up any and all scraps. Even crumbs.

3. Do not turn on the tv or radio after 11:00 p.m. and do not turn it back on until 9:00 a.m.

4. Unless we are expecting visitors do not open the door if you hear knocking.

I thought these rules were the basics. Just as I thought originally. But then I started to get further down the paper and I realized something was off.

5. Do not leave your bedroom after 11:00 p.m. for any reason. If you have to use the restroom, use the bucket in the corner.

6. The house is very old and rickety. Ignore anything that sounds like footsteps, knocking, banging, or anything of the sorts. I promise it's just the house settling.