Happier

➸ SIXTY FIVE

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I miss you guys so much. 

Short chapter but an important one!

Warning: Death.

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Thalia Lively Castillo

I was starting to lose my mind, everything was getting so foggy in my head. Nothing made sense, nothing was adding up. I was starting to wonder if I even wanted to figure any of this out to begin with.

Ignorance is bliss. There is so much peace in the unknowing. Did I want to throw everything away for answers? The new life I wanted to have won't mean a thing if I dig deeper into the past, deep down I know this all comes back to my parents. Uncovering the truth of their deaths, the truth of how everyone here is so connected. Someone has to be lying, or hiding under the radar. 

I look around the room, meeting the eyes of Darren, Aiden and Malachi. They each had a dark aura surrounding them, as if death and tragedy followed them around everywhere they went. Although I knew they were on my side, I couldn't help but wonder all of the things they could've seen... they could've done. 

Am I just like them?

"Thalia?" Darren's rough voice snaps me back into reality. I felt sick to my stomach.

"What could this mean?" My voice turned very faint but they still heard me. I ran my finger over the note over and over again. Thalia was there. "Was it my fault? Who wrote this?" I bounce the questions at them.

"It's mom's handwriting, Thalia." Aiden's eyes were fixated on the paper but his voice was gentle, as if his words were trying to comfort me and fill in the missing gaps for me. 

"I feel so lost," I sit down on a nearby chair and let my head fall into my hands, my mind is racing and all I want to do is run away. But I already ran once, I'm not going to run away twice. If this is my life, or what's meant to be my life, I'll learn to handle it. 

After a brief moment, I raised my head, looking directly at Malachi. "You know something else," I say calmly. I watched his relaxed face not even twitch at my statement, his posture staying held high, he seemed perfectly at ease.  I could sense he had more to say with the way he kept sending Darren glances as if he was waiting for Darren to say something first. 

"Dissociative Amnesia," he begins, his voice unfaltering. "Happens after a traumatic event, a person forgets, or subconsciously blocks out, an event or period of time. You go through phases of depersonalization, derealization, general amnesia, identity confusion and identity alteration." He continues, pacing around the room as he spoke, looking at random objects around the room while looking back at me from to time. 

"The hospital said I had short term memory loss from the crash and impact-" I start by saying, trying to debunk his theory. 

"I went through your old hospital files, most of your reports and results were left inconclusive." He leans onto Darrens desk in front of me. "At the time, it seemed no one knew what to do with you. The doctors weren't sure how you survived, or what happened to you. Luckily for you, I'm pretty good at researching people and events." He gives a small smile. "It seems way before the accident, you started dissociating on your own. Something traumatic happened to you, which only you and your parents are aware of," he nods to the paper in my head. "You began to forget things, people, events before the crash even happened, is what I'm trying to tell you. You want to remember? You need to stop blocking your own mind out of fear." He stares at me directly in the eyes, making me feel a bit uneasy.