starlight - jaylor AU

some things can't be forgiven

- Taylors Pov -

Things are tense between us friends these days. Its only two days into the new week but harry is making everything stressful. The longing looks he is throwing my way is making me uncomfortable, and I just want him to let me go. I've made it clear over and over again that I'm not interested anymore. There are only so many times I can say it without losing my mind. he is closing off his ears and just hearing what he wants to do, and in my mind its borderline disrespectful at this point.

«Taylor wait up!» harry calls after me right after I've entered the dorm building. I'm exhausted after a long day of classes so I'm really not in the mood to deal with him right now. We are nearing finals and its stressful to absorb everything we need to do; my mind is too crowded to deal with him now.

«What's up harry» I force a smile because I was raised to be kind to everyone. I might want to strangle harry at times but being blatantly rude is not something that comes easily to me. Sometimes I blow up, but for the most part I act calm and collected. I just don't like drama, at all. Its exhausted and it makes me feel like I'm still in high school. We are supposed to be adults now, but not everyone got that memo clearly.

«Youve been avoiding me since thanksgiving. I miss you. We should hang out. Go to dinner maybe» he says casually but looks at me like he wants to eat me as a snack. I know him well enough to see the affection in his eyes, the type of affection that's inappropriate when I have a boyfriend. «I'm not avoiding you harry; I've been busy. And no I don't think that's a good idea. Sorry»

Going out to dinner with him is a big mistake. First of all its disrespectful to Joe because the way harry is looking at me it's clear he wants it to be a date. Then I also don't want to lead harry on either. Sure I've made myself clear with my words, but I don't want to confuse that with opposite actions. Not to mention that I don't like cheating, that's not something I would ever do. If I was so unhappy with someone that I wanted to cheat, I think that relationship would need to end.

He comes closer until I'm backed into the wall, and I feel really uncomfortable «harry take a few steps back please» I ask politely. Being this close to him feels way too intimate for the kind of relationship we have no. it's too intimate and personal between friends, especially when one of those friends is still in love with the other.

«Come on Taylor, stop playing this game. I get you're playing hard to get, but I'm tired of it now. It's time for you to come back to me, I'm sick of this» he lays a hand on my waist, and I hold my breath and try to wiggle my way free from him, but I can't. He is bigger and stronger than me, so if he doesn't want me to move, I don't have a chance.

«Seriously harry, stop this bullshit and let me go. You're making me uncomfortable, and this is highly inappropriate» I snap at him. I fully intended on keeping my voice down, but I couldn't help myself from raising it. My pulse is racing in my chest, and I feel sick to my stomach.

He smells like the cologne I always got him for Christmas so he never would run out. I used to love that smell because it brought me comfort, now it just makes me feel uneasy. It's the scent I turned to when I needed to be held and have a good cry but now, I want to run from it. If I never have to smell this scent again, I wouldn't mind that at all.

Without saying anything more he presses his lips hard against mine and press me even harder up against the wall. I try to fight him, but he is so strong. I'm pushing on his shoulders and trying to kick him in the balls to make him get away from me, but he is just so strong. Tears are stinging my eyes and I feel like I'm suffocating. A kiss that used to bring me comfort now makes me want to sob my heart out. This is all wrong, and I feel dirty.

I get one of my arms free and keep slapping the side of his face, but he doesn't stop so I try to scratch him anywhere I can. The panic is rising inside me as he is moving his lips forcefully against my stiff lips. his tongue tries to pry my teeth apart so he can plunge into my mouth, but I won't let him.