starlight - jaylor AU

christmas

- Taylors Pov -

Being home for Christmas break is nice, but it's also intense being back in my parents' house. Both of them, and my brother, are hovering about food. But what they don't realize is that I need to do that on my own, I need to learn to do it on my own and they need to let me. I had a long conversation with my therapist about that before break, and she wanted me to work on taking responsibility even under my parents' roof. If I didn't it would be even harder when I get back to New York in the new year.

Today we have an agenda, a family tradition that we do every year. I've put on a Christmas sweater, jeans, boots, and a Santa hat because today we are going to the children's hospital. Every year on Christmas Eve my family and I dress up and deliver presents to kids that need to spend Christmas in the hospital. the presents are donated by big companies in Boston that wants to look good by donating, but I don't care about their pr reasoning because I know it means a lot to the kids. I've spent a few Christmases in the eating disorder unit myself, so I get that it sucks to be stuck here when you would rather be home with your family.

«One year we are getting you to put on a fake beard and dress like Santa Austin» I grin at my brother as we finish up the last of the sorting of presents. There are volunteers that have donated their time to organize all the presents and making sure it's appropriate gifts for the kids based on their age, they have written names, floors, and room number on them, so now it's up to us to pass them out to the kids.

«I'll do it if you do it teffy» he playfully elbows me before handing me the bag he was working on «I assume you want to see your boyfriend. This is for that ward»

Joe is spending Christmas in the hospital with his brother while they wait for Patrick's blood counts to recover. It's still up in the air but hopefully it will fully recover. As far as I know it's looking better blood count wise, but he has fatigue at the moment which I know is scaring Joe. They can't even be in the room with him, they are on the other side of a plastic wall to protect Patrick. I can't imagine how hard it is for their family, and I wish there was something I could do.

«What did you get lover boy for Christmas anyway?» He asks and I shrug «not telling you. we are opening them over video chat tomorrow so I'm keeping my mouth shut until then» it was hard figuring out what to get him, because I really wanted it to be something that he would like. I got him a thing and then an experience we could do together. It seemed like the perfect balance.

We separate and I head up to the pediatric cancer ward. There are actually several cancer wards because there are sadly so many kids with cancer, but his brother is on the bone marrow transplant unit because that's where the isolation rooms are. There are only a few kids there, I think it's like eight rooms or something but there are six kids there for the holidays. I assume the two other spots are either open or they got discharged right before Christmas.

The first kid is a toddler girl, then there are two elementary school aged kids, one kid that's almost an adult and two middle school kids. One of the middle school aged kids are Patrick, so I save him for last.

I knock on the door to the part of the room where Joe is, and they open it. «Hey you! I didn't know you were coming» he says and peck my lips. «I'm Santa for the kids on the ward. So I have a present for Patrick» I say as I pull it out of my Santa bag. I don't actually know what's inside it, but I do as I'm told and hand it to the nurse. They need to disinfect the outside of it, so no bugs come into Patrick's room. It won't be a hundred precent sterile, but that's not really possible.

Joe invites me into the room, and I greet his parents and brother. It seems like their mom is on his brother's side of the wall and Joe is on this side with their father. I know their family dynamic is fractured, so I can't even imagine how hard this Christmas is on Joe and Patrick. Their parents straight up hate one another, and the kids are caught in the middle of that. Not only that, but they are all stuck in a hospital far away from home.