RRB x PPG one-shots

💚Soulmates First Words💚

This is fucking ridiculous. Why do I have to bare witness to little miss goo-goo eyes and Mr. Heart-struck-smile. Bleh! Gross! Then over at another table it's Mr. And Miss flirty-flirt.

I mean come on! Really?! They have to do that here? At my sanctuary away from that shit? I get it, girls got 'emselves a boyfriend, soulmate, whatever. But is it completely necessary to make it so awkwardly obvious to anyone who looks? Like— we've only got a week left of summer, and I sure as hell don't wanna waste it watching Bubbles and Boomer sigh at eachother each time the other so much as blinks. Neither to I wanna watch Blossom tap Bricks nose and then a grin appear on his face.

"Aghhh!" I bang my head onto the register.

Someone please come end my misery. Order a large-ass pizza with as many toppings as you can think! I'll go make it and not even complain, promise! Or order a super complicated coffee! Or even a big-ass cake that requires as delicate as possible decoration! Come on!!! Help a girl out, universe!

Sadly nobody came. Those who did often already had people here, so they went and sat down with them and just ate off of whatever the other had gotten. Or if someone did come up, it was for a simple doughnut to go that I just got out of the display case. I didn't leave my spot once.

The past few weeks all I heard was "Oh my gosh, and his laugh! Ahhh! I love his laugh!" From Bubbles. And a more dramatic "Have you seen Bricks butt? Ugh! Amazing!" AND NOW I WANNA WASH MY EARS OUT AND PUKE!

Why is this happening to me? Things were fine when we left school! There was no flirty weird-acting Blossom, no complaining for a boyfriend Bubbles. HECK I WASN'T EVEN CUSSING! LIFE WAS GOING PRETTY FUCKING GREAT!

But nooo! Blossom just had to find her soulmate in the most tragic scene of any marvel movie, causing me to have to go back later and rewatch it to hear what I missed with the whole "you, handsome read-head" bullshit. And then that set off a chain of events with Bubbles crying over how her soulmate didn't care because she couldn't find him. MORE BULLSHIT!

This whole Soulmate thing is bullshit, honestly. You find 'em and it's just like... the supposed love of your life? You were "meant to be"? Ha! Ridiculous! People still get divorced, they still shoot themselves in the head over it, they still fall in love with other people! It's a scam, honestly.

Just because you're soulmates doesn't mean you're gonna be together forever and ever. Time changes people, mostly for the worst. Am I going to tell Bubbles and Blossom this and possibly ruin their lives, thus stopping the disgusting scenes infront of me? Hell no! 'Cause then I'd be just as bad as every other asshole that walks the earth.

I bang my head once more against the register, a little ding from the machine as I do so. Blossom and Bubbles deserve happiness, I know that. I sure as hell don't wanna take it away from them. I want them to be happy! I do! I just... it's complicated.

I don't believe in the soulmate shit, and that's always been a driving force of Bubbles and Blossoms friendship. All they'd ever talk about was finding their other half. Sometimes I'd feel like I had nothing to talk with them about. But then they'd bring me into their little guessing game and all I'd hear for an hour was cupcake-this or cupcake-that and blah blah blah.

I've told them I don't even want a soulmate, to which they'd respond by "But you're putting your soulmate at a disadvantage! You can't just simply ignore the fact you have one!"

I could, though. I could entirely ignore the fact I have one. I've even tried! But each time both girls chime in with a little "you'll meet him at the bakery! He'll see you carrying a tray of cupcakes and he'll like use it as an opening line". Excuse me? No! If I have to actually meet him, it sure as hell better not be anywhere near here! I don't want my work, my joy in life, one of the only actual fun things about waking up early tainted by the fact some douchebag showed up 'n called me a fucking cupcake. No. Thank you.