Catch Me

A Lack of Color

October 26, Wednesday

"Where Is Terezi, Karkat?" Kanaya asked me while we were at the cafeteria, eating lunch. She was across the table from where I sat and kept throwing glances at the table where Rose was sitting in with the glasses girl I learned was named Jade Harley, this John Egbert guy who hangs out with Vriska or something, and then the Dave bastard. Rose was writing something in a purple hardbound notebook, like she always does.

It was amazing how a simple name could make my gut feel like it's being stabbed to death. "How the hell should I know? I don't own a fucking color-coded schedule of what she does in her life or where she's supposed to be at this certain time. I mean honestly, why is everyone asking where the hell someone is? 'Where's Kanaya?' 'Where's Terezi?' Fuck, if Sollux and Aradia were nowhere to be found, I'd lose my mind and start watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians just to keep sane. I'd call the cops. I'd alert the government and make them do something about it. The damn president will be there making a speech about staying strong and not resting until they were found. Maryam, if you were like these two, always present and never absent, you'd know that I could care less about what Pyrope does. She has her own fucking life. Ask her yourself where she is, why don't you? Solve the fucking mysterious case of the missing Pyrope."

Kanaya frowned at me with this why-are-you-being-rude look. But then she sighs, maybe because she's used to it, and says "Never Mind Then." She looked away again to where Rose sat.

Terezi and I seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to mention to anyone that we've broken up just two days ago. I honestly didn't know where she was at the moment. It's like the whole world just turned into this giant ball of suck and sadness.

I was rather disappointed that Kanaya didn't ask if there was something wrong - it was standard Maryam protocol - because I would have told her on the spot. Well, maybe I would have said nothing's wrong at first, and then Kanaya will tell me to say what is it, and it will go on and on for a while until I get tired and tell her I'm practically dying that Terezi's not my girlfriend anymore.

She broke up with me on her birthday two days ago. Truthfully, it hasn't really sunk in yet that much. I've never had a break-up before, because she was my first girlfriend, for heaven's sake.

Nobody seemed to even know or much less cared whether me and Terezi were in a relationship. We were never flagrant about it; if someone asked, then we would tell them. I don't understand why people have to post statuses that they're in a relationship (because even the ones who are already committed can be flirted with some asshole or bitch) with someone. I mean, honest to God, who the hell cared if someone posted "Just had a fight with her. <insert dozens of sad faces and broken hearts or whatever emoticons there are that corresponds with a face or emotion that tells they just had a fight with someone they care about>."

And then some douche - probably a friend of the guy or something - would "Like" his post and type a comment like he was the official advice-giver friend of the group, even though you can honestly just call someone or tell them personally while you're both sitting on your mom's couch or a walk in the park or something, instead of broadcasting about these kinds of things to people who may or may not know you. For all you know, that one post could actually take away your girlfriend, others thinking that "maybe they're not meant to be, what the heck, maybe I'll go see that guy's girlfriend."

It takes every ounce of my willpower not to type a comment myself and give him my own advice of "Quit yapping personal things to the world, otherwise you're gonna meet someone like me who'd like nothing more than to put a sock in your mouth and kick you all the way to the moon's fat ass without so much as a NASA suit or an oxygen tank or a fucking Fisher Space Pen so you can't write upside down in space."