Catch Me

Terrified

December 24, Sunday

"It Is Just Annoyingly Rude Of Him! Downright Childish And Insulting!" I threw my hands up in exasperation.

The night was minutes away from turning Christmas, and all I could do was rant about my friend to a girl I like a lot.

"What did he say again? Pardon, I didn't catch it that clearly," Rose asked as she was lying beside me in her backyard as we stared at the black sky.

"He Said, 'I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I WANT TO, KANAYA. DON'T BE THE MEDDLER THAT YOU ALREADY ARE. MAYBE VRISKA HAD BEEN RIGHT ABOUT THAT." My eyebrows furrowed deep at the memory of yesterday, when I ran up to him at school.

"Hmm," she tapped her chin lightly with her index finger, "I'd wager he is really sad and confused. Probably miserable."

"Why Do You Think So?"

"Think about it: he's not swearing like he used to, he calls people by their first name, and he's taking Vriska's side which I presume are the things he doesn't normally do."

I sighed. "I Hope I Can Talk To Him Like We Used To, Soon. I Admit That I Miss Him Shouting."

If I hadn't been so happy that I was spending Christmas Eve and the actual Christmas with Rose, I would've been crying while trying to call Karkat which he probably won't return at all.

I'm just really depressed that one of my closest friends is not hanging out with me anymore. But... looking back at my schedule, I suppose I never looked available when I spend time with Rose. Maybe Karkat wanted to hang out with someone who was also sad so he wouldn't have to ruin anyone's happiness.

Guilt feels awfully weird when a very beautiful girl is lying next to you with your elbows touching, waiting for the stars to come out.

I checked my watch for the sixth time, and it was four minutes past twelve.

"Rose, It Is Midnight. So, Um, Merry Christmas." I smiled crookedly at her.

She smirked. "Merry Christmas, Kanaya. I'm glad you're here with me."

There was a flutter in my stomach at the last part.

We stayed silent for a while, but it was a good kind of silence. Like we were just enjoying the breeze with someone besides ourselves.

"Just out of sheer curiosity," Rose began, "don't you find it strange that we're still hanging out even though I confessed three days ago that I like you?"

! I thought she had forgotten that she did. "Uh... Well, Just Because People Do, Doesn't Mean That Friendships Should Be Broken. I Think It Would Depress Me If We Were Ever To Part Ways Because I Value My Days When I'm Around You." Besides, "like" was different than "love". I shouldn't expect too much.

"Kanaya," she paused for a long time and when I was about to ask she continued, "do you want to be my best friend?"

Wait. Does this mean I... friendzoned her!? And right now she friendzoned me SUBCONCIOUSLY?! Oh crap, I should've just told her! I had a perfectly good excuse, too! Ugh. I hate myself.

"Kanaya?"

"Oh. Um, I Kind Of Thought We Already Are, But If You Insist Then Yes, I Would Very Much Like It If We Are Best Friends."

She didn't speak for a while which got me worried.

"Is Something Wrong?" Maybe... she actually wanted something more than that?...

"Nothing's wrong," Rose answered. It's just that... I've never had a best friend before so it feels nice that you officially are."

"Really?"