Catch Me

Why Can't I

December 24, Sunday

- - carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling gardenGnostic [GG] - -

CG: HEY, HARLEY.

GG: oh no. :C what do you want karkat?

CG: WHAT. WHO THE FUCK IS THIS KARKAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. MY NAME'S CARCINOGENETICIST IN CASE YOU'RE BLIND OR INCOMPETENT TO DISTINGUISH NAMES. BUT I BET HE'S ONE GOOD-LOOKING CHUMP.

GG: ugh. karkat, i know its you okay? honestly i dont even know what went through my brain that I accepted your friend request last october. all you do is rant and say mean things.

CG: THEN WHY DID YOU GODDAMN ACCEPT IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHOA, WATCH OUT BITCHES, WE GOT A GENIUS OVER HERE AND HER NAME'S HARLEY. ACCEPTING REQUESTS WITHOUT KNOWING WHY. LIKE TAKING A DUMP WITHOUT KNOWING WHERE YOU SHIT RELEASE IT. I THINK I'LL TAKE A DUMP ON MY DINNER PLATE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT A TOILET IS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

CG: OH HELLO, I'M HARLEY. I ACCEPT FRIEND REQUESTS EVEN IF YOU'RE ADOLF FUCKING HITLER BECAUSE I'M FRIENDLY LIKE THAT.

GG: ugh! you dont have to be so mean you know! >:C i accepted because I saw rose and kanayas account as our mutual friends okay? how would I know it was you when we dont talk that much and youre the crabbiest douche I ever met!?

GG: why do you keep bothering me anyway? >__>"

CG: TRUST ME, THE LAST THING I EVER WANTED WAS TO BOTHER YOU AND TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH A FARMSTINK BUTTLASS. THE TRUTH IS I WANT

GG: ... youre trying to make friends with me? :'o wait, what did you call me?

CG: HOW RUDE. I WAS STILL TYPING AND THEN YOU REPLY LIKE SHIT AND INTERRUPT.

CG: YEAH I WAS TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOU. WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS TO YOUR INTELLECT THAT I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE?

GG: it doesnt really show that youre trying to.

CG: WELL, I AM. WHO THE GODDAMN HELL SAID IT HAD TO SHOW, ANYWAY. I JUST WANT YOUR GODDAMN HELP, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? DO I HAVE TO BE NICE IN EVERYTHING I SAY OR DO JUST TO GET YOUR FUCKING ATTENTION? ARE WE BORN TO DO NICE THINGS ALL THE TIME? EVEN AS YOU ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR EXAMPLE, DO I NEED TO SAY 'THANK YOU' AND 'PLEASE' AS I COVER MY EARS WHILE YOU YAPSHIT NICE THINGS BACK?

GG: ugh. fine. im sorry karkat. now what were you talking about asking for help? O_O

CG: YEAH. I NEED YOU TO HELP ME GET TEREZI PYROPE BACK. YOU KNOW HER, RIGHT? THE GIRL BESIDE ME DURING PHYSICS, AND THEN SHE'S BESIDE THAT DIRTBAG STRIDER, AND THEN HE'S BESIDE YOU AND WE'RE ALL SEATED IN THE FIRST ROW?

GG: yes yes, i know her. you want what now? help? isnt that your uh, other friends job? like, kanaya maybe? O 3 O

CG: SHE'S SPENDING MOST OF HER TIME WITH LALONDE AND I DON'T REALLY WANT TO BUG THEIR SUBTLY FLIRTATIOUS SHITTY RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE KANAYA CAN JUST MARRY THE GIRL. ALL SHE YAPS ABOUT IS ROSE. 'ROSE IS REALLY PRETTY. WHY IS SHE PRETTY, KARKAT?' 'HAVE YOU SEEN ROSE ANYWHERE?' 'DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE WAS WEARING? I BET IT'S BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE SHE'S ROSE.'

CG: ROSE ROSE ROSE. IT'S LIKE VRISKA ALL OVER AGAIN. EXCEPT IT'S ROSE AND IT'S MUCH WORSE.

CG: WOW, LOOK AT THAT, I FUCKING RAPPED. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT FIRE, STRIDER. YOU THINK IT'S FUCKING COOL AND SHITNOT. I OWN YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.

GG: it didnt really rhyme i think? D: anyways, i think kanaya wants to help you and talk to you though, but you wont let her.

CG: HOW THE SHIT DO YOU KNOW THAT?