Hidden Pain (BoyxBoy-Jastin)

Might Just Fall For You

Justin POV

I walk silently not knowing where I am but this place gives me chill. It's dark and only a little light helping me see where I'm walking. I've been walking for so long, sweats were dripping all over my body. I don't even know why I didn't stop walking even though I'm running out of breath and my mouth feels so dry. I finally stop walking bending on my knee to catch a breath. I wipe my forehead with my arms.

Suddenly I heard some footstep near me making me panic. "Who's there?" I ask but my voice was small. I didn't have the strength to talk any louder. Everything seems quiet for a minute until I heard a familiar chuckle, my whole body froze. "Did you miss me Justin?" the voice asked sounding amused. I gulp closing my eyes. This is not real! He's dead! This is not real! I keep yelling in my head. He chuckles again. "Are you trying to make me disappear little Jay?" "Are you trying to make all the memories that we have created together vanish?" he laugh this time. I could feel his breath in my right ear but I still didn't open my eyes.

"Come on Jay. We both know, I'm always and will always be in your head no matter how hard you try to erase me. We both know, I'm always going to be your first." My eyes widen instantly staring at his evil smirk looking down at me. I yell at the top of my lungs wanting all this to be over.

"Justin! Wake up!"

"Justin!"

"Baby boy! Shhh.. Wake up!"

"Justin! Please baby boy!" someone keep begging holding me in their arms as I was thrashing trying to get away, I don't even know from what.

My eyes flutter open as I blink it rapidly, my breathing was uneven. My vision is finally clear when I saw Jason worried face staring down at me as he was still holding me. He removes my sweaty hair from my forehead and caress my cheek softly. "You're okay. You're okay now." He coo. I didn't say anything just staring at his face. I'm feeling so drain suddenly.

I felt a soft kiss on my forehead to see Jason still looking at me worried. I let out a breath as I cuddle more to his chest closing my eyes. "Are you okay baby boy?" Jason asked rubbing my arms. I shook my head honestly. I don't know why I cannot lie to Jason, it's like every time he ask me something, I will respond truthfully and if I even tried to hide what I really was feeling, he'll still know that I'm lying anyways. 

"What did you dream about Jay?" he question softly now also lying down with me basically on top of him as my head still resting oh heartbeat chest. "Him." I whisper. I felt him tense. "You know it's just playing with your mind Jay. Don't think about it too much. You've been doing well on your session." He remind me. It's true it's been 2 months now and my session with Doctor Ethan has been going great but my nightmares seems to never let me be in peace.

I don't have nightmares as often as before but every time I have it, things will get bad again. I will get scared again, each time I'm one step in front, those memories will come haunt me again. I'm just scared, I can't erase them from my head. I just want to forget about whatever happens. "Jay?" Jason soft voice make me look at him tiredly. "What's wrong baby boy?" he asked again.

"I just want to f..forget.. Jason." I croaked. He frown playing with my hair softly. "I know Jay." He sigh heavily staring in to my eyes and suddenly he smiles at me. "I wish I could do it for you." He whisper in defeat. I furrow eyebrows not liking seeing him upset. "I wish every day in my life that I could just erase all those horrific things that happen to you and fix your beautiful self Jay." He smile caressing my cheek. "But I can't, so I'm going to be here by your side for as long that you need me too." He sincerely tells me.

I could help but felt my heart flutter with everything Jason said and do for me. I've been feeling all this weird feelings lately and sometimes I don't even know what is it. It's just every time I'm around him, I felt all this warm and fuzzy. He makes me feel so safe and secure, I just couldn't have good sleep without him by my side and every time he compliment or say something sweet, I will always feel like smiling of how cheesy he is sometimes.