THE WHORE DIARIES

11: THE DRAMA

TINA was lying on the bed and fantasizing about the anal examination again. She ate a lot of spicy doritos last night and felt a bit nauseous, like when she ate raw potatoes, but this time it was more intense. In all that daydreaming of hers, the group video on Facetime rang her. She answered.

ALEX: Leo is cheating on me!

TINA: So are you even together? like I don't understand...

ALEX: Yes, but no!

TINA: Ok. And?

ALEX: He sent Sonja this!

At that moment, Alex split the screen and there was a video of Leo playing guitar and singing "Love yourself". This video was amazing for Tina because it's literally one of 3 videos where he doesn't lean in some way and she was surprised. She didn't understand what it was about.

SONJA: Well, it's not my fault that he likes me! I'm as erotic as an emoticon.

ALEX: But you're cheating on me with him!

SONJA: It's not true! I would never do that!

TINA: You two remind me of that song about cheetahs.

SONJA: Ok.

ALEX: Well, look at it this way, what should I do when MY boyfriend sends her sexy songs? Like that girl code!?

SONJA: Well, calm down a bit. I only like him.

ALEX: Is that so? And he told me that you paid him! Prostitution! If he was lying to me again... I will cut off his cock on the stump so that Mark the Great will really be bigger than him!

TINA: Hello, don't touch my family!

SONJA: I am your family because I gave it to him last night hehe.

ALEX: Hello! The topic is me!

TINA: Come on, girls, relax a little. Well, this is not a porn affair. The guy sings beautifully and that's it.

ALEX: But why did he sing THAT SONG?

SONJA: Well, why not? I mean he's more like Voyage and Nucci to me...

ALEX: Holy crap!

TINA: Why don't you have a little cockerel with them?

ALEX: Well now... That's not the topic of our conversation.

SONJA: Look, it's not my fault that he sent it to me. Maybe it's a coincidence. I'm a disciplined girl and every cheating ends up fatal for me!

ALEX: I know. And I also.

SONJA: With the fact that I mostly cheat, but it doesn't matter. Now let's put this behind us...

ALEX: I definitely have Leo behind me every night!

TINA: Well, I read somewhere that it should only be done once a week...

SONJA: I just go for a blow-dry once a week!

ALEX: Otherwise I'm getting Leo to grow a mustache or something...

TINA: Alas, it will be like that famous painter then... You know, what Mona Piza painted!

SONJA: Leonardo DiCaprio! I love it! I don't know how he managed to star in Titanic at the same time...

ALEX: Because he's a multi-purpose panda!

TINA: Well, do you know what happened to me last night? Well, I was coming back from the gym, because I was working my butt as if I was really tight... and a man stopped me on the street... He asked me where the tobacconist was. And I showed him where the tobacconist was, and he gave me 200 euros! It was that Andrew Taint and he's such a head-giver...

ALEX: They say that people who are big heads are usually big...

SONJA: Haha it's true, I tasted it on my OWN SKIN!

TINA: I didn't question it. And I was wearing new headphones, so I didn't fully understand him.

ALEX: Well, nice.

TINA: And then when I came home, I discovered that I had received a bikini as a gift!

SONJA: But it's literally December?

TINA: I know, very sexy, right?

ALEX: Nothing girls, I'm glad we cleared this up. Sister code still valid?

ALL THREE TOGETHER: YOU CAN'T CHEAT IF YOU'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP OR IF HE'S NOT IN!

SONJA: Bye biatch.

And the connection ended. Tina went to the bathroom, filled the tub, and meditated in her ultra-large jacuzzi for the rest of the day. It hated to get up too much. And she read in a magazine that Madonna uses water jet massage to increase her butt, so she tried to apply it herself.