THE WHORE DIARIES

13: VOYAGE

Despite her expressed jealousy towards Alexandra and Sonya, Tina decided to go on a trip they invited her to. They mentioned something about Rome, which would suit Tina extra because she could see her erotic Italian again. However, Sonja fucked up as usual, and instead of buying tickets to Padova, she took three night tickets to the Superbowl dome. Tina was quite offended because she was hoping to be able to whore her way around Italy, but instead she got a taxi ride back. It was raining, and they got quite wet while waiting for him.

SONJA: I'm leaking so much today! AND FROM THIS WATER! Ah, that Old Rome!

TINA: Sonja, how could you MIX IT UP?

SONJA: What did I mix up?

ALEX: I'm not surprised. But why confuse everything that can be missed?

SONJA: Well, I got wet, and then...

ALEX: Woman, go to the gynecologist and get yourself checked, how many times a day do you get it?

SONJA: Ah, well this time I didn't get it, as if I'm not leaking there, but from Mark the Great...

TINA: Oh, he's such a nerd! He didn't want to call me in town yesterday!

ALEX: He's your cousin.

TINA: Yes, but he's a jerk.

At that moment, that song about Mercedes came on. Sonja excitedly started howling and jumping on the back seat.

SONJA: I'LL BE YOUR GODMOTHER, YOUR TIRE BLASTED, EVERYTHING IS SHAKING IN YOUR MERCEDES!

ALEX: One, I don't think that song goes that way? And two, Mark drives a Honda.

TINA: I thought he drives a Porsche?

SONJA: So he drives me too! And a car with four wheels!

TINA: Ok.

SONJA: And do you remember when we were in Montenegro, and I went to that beach, and I fell in love with someone and my hooha burned for a week...

ALEX: Yes, we remember, because we put it on you.

TINA: His name was Stipe.

ALEX: And it wasn't because of that that it burned you, but because you got burned by a jellyfish on your ass because you're wearing thongs the size of dental floss.

SONJA: Alas, true hahahaha! I'd rather hit you with a car than with a tit!

TINA whispered to ALEXANDRA: Oh, how strange she is to me sometimes when she remembers something like that... She has a selective memory like a goldfish.

SONJA: And do you remember when we were at that party at Leo's?

ALEX: I better not remember.

TINA: What?

ALEX: Well, Leo and I broke up, we got involved with two scumbags, and it's not working like that...

TINA: Yes.

SONJA: Basically, that's where Mark the Great said that sex is not dating. Because like, if it were then he and Leo would be dating.

ALEX and TINA's mouths fell open. They didn't need to hear this.

SONJA: And then later they invented that I was fucked with a toothbrush! Haha, funny! I would never do that!

TINA: Please shut up for at least five minutes. My head hurts.

ALEX: You're getting on my nerves like a retarded chipmunk. Suck a dick and die.

SONJA took out a huge heart-shaped candy cane from her purse. She began to lick him seductively, thinking that it would attract the taxi driver's attention, the way she doogled muffins to Migos. However, then she remembered that she was in a car that has no driver but a Tesla, so she continued to lick it silentlh, less seductively.

As soon as they arrived in the city, they went to Alexandra's house to clean themselves. Tina was quite disheveled and Sonja's mascara was smeared and ran down her cleavage. Also, her hair was totally falling apart and it looked like someone had run it over the pulleys. Aleksandra was muddy on her knees and sleeves, not because she was promiscuous, but because she fell into a muddy pool.

TINA was sitting on the ottoman and writing a message to the Italian.

"I saw a guy on the street just now, he's the same as you, only everything is darker. I dreamed about being your sexy slave and it was very sexy. My knees buckle every time I think that we kissed in your expensive car, on in the back seat. And then I think that I could never bend down, but here I am saving them just for you. I hope you will come and see me soon. I want you to take me off with your teeth and then paint me on the sheets like some French girl from the Titanic. I will touch you shin, I'll touch your ear and run my tongue over you... I have some horrible thoughts, what I want to do to you... You wander baby, and I'll be your guide to the harem. I want us to make love like in a haystack, that I scratch, itch... And when you climax, I want it to be so strong that you simultaneously dislodge a kidney stone you didn't know you had and scream my name as hard as you've ever known your throat hurts. I'll wear my fucking black heels for you !"

She smiled and sent the message. This time to the right number.