THE WHORE DIARIES

17: A WILD NIGHT

TINA was in the rented apartment of her Italian lover. She was lying on the couch and massaging her boob. She was listening to the song ABCDEFU and it was extra. She was just eating some juicy meatballs that her boyfriend had cooked for her. And before that they went for a big walk in the city. Even though Sunday is a dead day and the soul sleeps on Sundays, she felt full of energy until she fell on the ice because of her fucking heels and smashed her tit against a mailbox. Still, she felt good because she can finally tell her boyfriend what he thinks to his face instead of just texting and using the faucet in the bathtub for him.

"Giovanni? Where have you been?"

"Amore mio, I'm taking a shower, I'll be back in a few minutes."

"I'm waiting for you here sprawled out on this couch in the rented apartment..."

"Bella, please, just a minute..."

"Are my new thongs turning you on?"

Tina tightened and loosened the elastic of the thong so that it slapped against her skin.

"Ah, that love. Like a magic roulette, you win a little, you lose a little. I have everything now. I'm so sexy and hot in this apartment, and yet today I was smothered like a bad bitch. I would melt with him now, like the most expensive butter in sexy carrot sauce. I might even have visual sex on a combine because of him! He's the lubricant of my heart and my soul..."

Giovanni came out of the bathroom dressed in a cozy outfit and was rubbing his hair with a towel. Tina looked at him seductively from the couch where she was lying like a cow.

GIOVANNI: You have your singer, a beautiful woman...

TINA: I don't know who you mean, but ok?

GIOVANI: There is a song - break down the door, come and break me down...

TINA: aaaa Beautiful Bonnie... Yes...

GIOVANNI: Do you want to be my door? So I can break you down with a bang...

TINA: YES...

GIOVANNI: I will squeeze your tits like a juicy lemon.

He threw himself at her. Tina squealed like a teapot. Everything around them was shaking. She was touching his broad back as if it were a velvet cloak and she felt like she was on top of the Himalayas. It was reminiscent of fireworks, sparks, hamburgers and communism. She was spinning and shaking, and sweating so much that the highlighter was all over her face and neck. She felt powerful. Blue blooded. Like a noblewoman.

During that time, Sonja and Alex talked on Facetime. Alex was in the jacuzzi bathing and drinking wine, and Sonja was eating pizza in the basement of some random building.

SONJA: Mmmm.

(short pause)

SONJA: MMMMmmmMmmMMMM

ALEX: Hello, come on, don't moan.

SONJA: But this pizza is so stuffed with cheese...

ALEX: And Tina is stuffed with cheese tonight so you don't moan on the phone.

SONJA: ok.

ALEX: I don't know what to do with Leo.

SONJA: Best nothing? Like nothing?

ALEX: But I would like something...

SONJA: You are a bad slut.

ALEX: I know.

SONJA: Buy yourself Japanese balls or those dice like with sex...

ALEX: So how will that solve my problems?

SONJA: as far as I know, be creative.

ALEX: Leo is so hotttt like...

SONJA: I absolutely do not want anything to do with him! Ever since he did the thing with Mark, I hate him!

ALEX: And what exactly was he doing?

SONJA: Well, everything.

ALEX: ok, I'll find out.

SONJA: Mmmmm this pizza...

ALEX: I'm so lazy today... My uterus hurts and I have to pee. I would literally cut my pussy off.

SONJA: When I have these problems, I drink tea.

ALEX: I drink wine?

SONJA: It doesn't matter. I read on some forum that it is very healthy to put foil around your vagina if you have cramps and it seems to go away by morning. I also tried it and it was great, but I got a little dry because I accidentally spread honey on the foil.

ALEX: WOW cougar.

SONJA: I want to buy a thong in Zara.

ALEX: That exists?

SONJA: Yes, they are leopard.

ALEX: Well, nice.

SONJA: I want to be a provider.

ALEX: Whatever that means. I ate some oysters today because I heard they were an aphrodisiac and I wasn't hot at all. I feel frigid like Dolly Parton. I would lie down behind a rock and die.

SONJA: I would lie down on a long one.

ALEX: Well fine.

SONJA: I wonder if I screamed like a voodoo woman while riding him, would that be cool?

ALEX: Please don't try.

SONJA: Mmmmm this pizza is so greasy... I would lick it and kiss it...

ALEX: Basically, let's take Tina and that nerd of hers to a picnic. Let's walk them through the woods...

SONJA: I think he's walking through Tina's woods now... Oh never mind, she did a laser this summer.

ALEX: Wow, you're a fool haha!

SONJA: hihi

ALEX: By the way, that bitch Stacy called me to ask me to return the guy who left for her in Greenland. Like wtf, not my problem?

SONJA: And what did you tell her?

ALEX: Well, I told her to get off my dick and that she's so poor she doesn't even have money for Gin!

SONJA: Alas, the truth! Potato slut!

ALEX: Well, we're going to take the kids to lunch in an ethnic village... And I can take Leo too...

SONJA: Bro, don't do that.

ALEX: What?

SONJA: Leo is gay.

ALEX: Well, I wouldn't say from the exhibitions we did in the back seat of his dark, big car... aaaaaahhhh...

SONJA: Well, I saw a video.

ALEX: Hey Sonjchi, you're drunk, please, you're sitting in the basement of the empire state building...

SONJA: It's not a basement, it's a sex dungeon!

ALEX: Same shit. Maybe you were hallucinating,

SONJA: I'm going home slowly now.

ALEX: Come on, please be careful who you get into the car with.

SONJA: that's right.

She hung up.

Alex was a bit depressed and sad, as if every ship of hers sunk to the bottom of an ocean called the vagina hole. She felt like an oar in a storm. She took the pills and went to sleep.