Playing pretend

The first meeting

Spiders.
That's the only word I can use to describe them.
All of them.
Whether an ally or foe.

They're all black widows and their webs are in my way. They're disgusting.
Just detestable, little spiders that do so much damage if you're not paying attention.

I've never liked spiders. I always dealt with their presence but now that there are so many, I feel I need to get away. I now see no hope as I'm entangled in these treacherous webs.
Maybe I should just give up.

I have an idea to run away when the spiders are distracted by a different butterfly.

As soon as I think this, something else shows up.
Something else that reeked of a paining interest.
Something that told me to pretend and the spiders wouldn't want me anymore.

They wouldn't want me.. although, this thing that smiled so devilishly wanted to snatch me away.

Maybe the spiders were safer, but I don't miss them.

...

"Fuckkkk" you wake up with bodily pain for the third week in a row.

Workouts, school, and work are all beginning to take a toll on your body. Waking up extra early to catch the bus to coming home late at night after a night shift.
Not to mention all the schoolwork and responsibilities at home.

The toxicness stunk horridly in the air as you quickly heard arguing first in the morning.

You quickly got out the bed after seeing the time. You atleast tried to dress nice for school but you always ended up looking tired (atleast what you've been told).
You had slept for a clean 10 hours which wasn't nearly enough.

There was so much burden and so much you had to do with little support.

You were the only person in the house with a job, while everyone else complained of being broke but wouldn't even consider the idea.
It angered you.
Quickly, after barely getting ready, you threw on your jacket and ran out the door but not before being called selfish by your mother.
You gritted your teeth but held your tongue as you lifted both the heavy school bags on to your back.
One was full of work and sport clothes while the other bag had your binder, papers, and computer. The air was chilly and you sped walk to the bus stop before finally making it.

Finally a sigh left your lips as you sat in the front seat of the disgusting bus.

You were of age for a car but hadn't saved up enough money for one. You didn't want it in your mother's name anyway so you felt you could wait.

The bus came to a halt after the 30 minute drive and you made it to breakfast. It was your favorite to eat and you had to stay fed somehow since there was rarely food at the house.
The day went by stressfully as usual and you tried your best to smile and keep up with the other girls.

More and more schoolwork was being piled on top of you and you felt drowsier than ever.

I can handle this.. it's fine..

"Hey are you okay? You look tired and depressed" your friend Niah came up to you and you looked to the side with a laugh.
"Gee thanks"

She was a close friend but she aggravated you sometimes. The fakeness irked your nerves but you felt you had no choice but to be friends. Niah would often make you question yourself. You could feel her subtle animosity on days you looked good.
She envied your body and your beauty but you pretended you didn't notice.
Not to mention the messiness