Beneath me (BTS Jin)

Chapter 36 : Back to start

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                         36

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"Bitch got ditched"

A shape tone, which waited for a fine time, attacked quickly. The queen had left much before while I was walking in the lone hallway.

The voice was behind me, my step stopped but I refused to look behind. I wasn't ready to take more than I can't handle.

"Looks like your magic expired! haha"

She was being so insensitive and mean. I grabbed my dress into my arms to avoid this nasty feeling. I was not liking anything about this place now.

I gathered my thoughts and started walking again ignoring random commentary passed by Agatha.

At a point, I ran off to escape her wordings. The feeling was uneasiness was beyond. I wanted to reach upto SeokJin but at the same time I won't be able to survive his foreign eyes. How could I bear him say that he doesn't know me?

All over! Everything is over! What a waste! Why am I ever here? All those self doubting thought began pinching me.

Maybe I should have done this before! Going my way, I brought myself in front of my room. This was final. I was leaving.

Before I could enter in, a huffing sound was heard. It was Taehyung, panting loudly. Seems like he ran from miles to reach this place. I surely couldn't face him either.

He just stood there. Looking at me, how demolished would I'd be looking that his eyes melts as cresent consoling ones.

My face dropped its shine and my eyebrows knitted in dilemma. It felt he also had lost his hopes in me.

I rushed into my room and slammed the door.

I needed some time, to shout, cry, throw something. My hands were trembling as I sat on the doormat only. Preparing myself.

The dress was thrown on the bed as I changed.  Bucking up my fallen hairs, I started arranging my luggage at a place.

I took my hand bag from the table. While fidgeting into it, my grip loosened and it went to the floor, spreading its belonging wide over the area. After cursing it, I started gathering up my items.

Some literally went under the furnitures as well. When I looked through thoroughly, I found something under the bedside table but I couldn't reach it because the way was narrow. I decided to let it be.

Picking up my everything, I decided to leave the room after having one last glance over it.

Coming out of the room, I found Taehyung standing right in front. His eyes were stunned.

I felt it difficult to look into his eyes, so I focused over the floor instead.

Taehyung, to my surprise, took my suitcase and started dragging it. I looked at him, thoughtlessly.

"Aren't you coming?" He said as he noticing I'm still standing at my door.

I swiftly approached him and started walking ahead of him. He's such a gentleman, I thought. Maybe you cannot know how's someone's heart be, just in flick of time. You need to give it rest for the comfortableness to settle within, before you pass your judgement towards anyone.

The time he we are reaching the front yard, my vision was blurred because my thoughts were fogged. Everything was such a collision of hope and despair that I wasn't able to think straight.

Taehyung looked at me, lost in thoughts. Walking along him.

"Maybe we could...just once more." It was me. I snapped my thoughts and looked at him.

His eyebrows rested unwell as his face hung down. He refused to face me either.

"Its ny fault. I'm so sorry." His words were heavy. For the first time, I hoped maybe if he would have said otherwise, I would have obeyed him.

I was standing facing him. Hearing his words made he realise, this is really it.

I was standing near the main gate at the end of the yard, facing the castle behind him.

I kept my eyes lingering over to all those spaces and balcony where people might appear. I wanted to see him, one last time. 

I got snapped again as Taehyung put his hand out, indicating me to look behind me. I slow car creek was heard which I refused to acknowledge.

I stood there, facing him. Still nagging the mansion to give me the last glimpse of any hope.

Taehyung saw me not moving. He returned his hand. A soft droplet slipped down my cheeks.

Taehyung took me by my arm. And escorted me to the car. I stood by to look at the driver. It wasn't Namjoon anymore. Everything seems alive.

I sat inside. "Have a wonderful life" he said.

As the car started moving. When I look back, Taehyung hid his face. His narcissistic behaviour made me thought, he might say ' I look cute when I cry so you'll fall for me.'

Was he really crying?
I still stared at the mansion until it was engulfed by the curvature of the planet.

There still was a lot load on my heart, that made me thought was it really worth it?
It felt good being in the life of your usual, but did I achieved something or lost everything?

Will I be okay when I go back?

I had no idea. My heart was still crying one particular name. That's why hearts are useless. I literally craved for him after a short evening meet, how can be living apart after these couple of days.

I didn't know. But everything will be taken care of. I sat back on my seat, holding on to my hand bag. The journey back will be the longest ever, I just thought.

Will he be okay?

                    .... Epilogue .....