Shuichi POV:
I stood looking up at his frail corpse, so cold, so still. His body stood limp hanging from a grate on the ceiling, his usual pale face tinted a sickly lavender and the tips of his fingers were blue, as if his entire body had been bruised and all air had been sucked out of his lungs. His face had gone slack giving the almost peaceful impression that he was just asleep... if only that were true.
I had seen this before, his corpse. It was jarring the first few times, but overtime I got used to it. It always hurt but it became more palatable with time. This time was different. This time it was his fault. He killed him self. I've seen him beaten, strangled, stabbed, poisoned, and crushed but they were never his fault. He's been murdered over and over and over again but this time he didn't even give me a chance. Sure everyone hated him, but I thought he knew I cared. Did he really think no one would miss him? That him dying like this wouldn't shatter me? Or maybe the thought never even crossed his mind. He was in so much pain. He tried to hide it but I could tell that every death was fully felt and it's effects always lingered, but even so he seemed fine. Through every reset he had the same mischievous grin plastered on his pale face, when had his genuine passion for chaos turned to cheerful facade that masked a dismal psyche.
How long had his suffering gone ignored.
I stopped checking in with him after the first 10 resets. He always gave the same answer so I just gave up. I regret that now. This was the first time I had truly seen how bad it had gotten. As I examine the body, gently lowering it from its suspension I see the scars he hid so well. This clearly wasn't his first attempt. He had cuts littering his arms some horizontal. Most vertical. They were so deep that it was shocking that they weren't gushing blood, but his skin was so emaciated and his wrists so slender that drawing blood from them at this point seemed near impossible. My tears loosen the congealed blood from his lifeless body mixing in a sickly pale pink reminding me that this is real. A part of me fears that it will be different this time. That I'll go through the trial, prove it was a suicide and just like that the loop will stop and I'll never see him again. As much as we both wanted to break the cycle I never wanted it to end like this.. I would go through a million more if it means I get to see him again, to hold him in a tight embrace and listen to his still beating heart as I rest my head against his chest.
I lay him gently on his bed, willing myself to believe his just asleep and I'll see him again in the morning. I untie the noose he made from his bed sheets and cover him, just so he doesn't get too cold. I press my lips gently against his forehead. It's cold and lifeless and I feel violently ill knowing that this is really him and he's really dead... again.. and he might not wake up this time and I might never see him again. I shakily stand and walk out the door, turning the lights off as I go. Rantaro and Kirumi wait for me on the other side of the door. Kaede still looks like she's seen a ghost and Rantaro is failing to hide his puffy red eyes as he pulls me into a tight embrace and we both break down. Kokichi was like a brother to him.
Sure kichi was my best friend, but rantaro is the one that just saw his little brother hanging limp with a makeshift noose around his neck. It was rantaro that found him. Rantaro that was the first to recognize that he was past saving... of course that didn't stop him from trying. He was lucky Kirumi was there to restrain him and preserve the evidence. Kaede's arrival triggered the announcement, she ran to get me but I was one of the last ones to show up. Once most people heard that it was kokichi that had died they refused to investigate. How did I never notice how cruel they were to him?
I glance up at the few remaining students:
Kaede, Kirumi, Gonta, Keebo, and Rantaro.
The rest either had "something better to do" or just didn't care. I made note of the ones that stayed. These were the people I could trust. These are the ones that are willing to help us escape. Gonta wraps me into the worlds biggest hug and insists on carrying me to the trial.
"Shuichi is shaking too much. Let Gonta Help! That way Gonta is true gentleman!" I should refuse. I should stay here with kichi, but I can't bring myself to let go. I bury my head into Gonta's chest and sob. Once I've cried every tear I had, let them fall until there was nothing left, I speak.
" thank you Gonta. You are a true gentleman. Kokichi thought so too. He really admired you."
