Karma POV:
I've always hated bullies.
It doesn't matter what size, class, or age, I hate them all the same. I remember the days when my actions were commended, when I was let off the hook because of my brain or my morals or the personal failings of my victims. I remember when I could trust teachers, or rather, a single teacher. He was the only adult that ever believed in me, and in an instant he shattered any scrap of trust I had left. The way he yelled at me that day, the day I was suspended, that was the day my faith died.
When I attacked that teacher I knew this would probably be the end of the line. I knew I had gone too far. I knew these things, but I did it anyway. Why? The answer is simple.
I hate bullies.
I still don't know how far things went, but he hurt my best friend. He always held Nagisa after class, which is normal enough, but what was decidedly not normal was the length of that period of time. I thought nothing of it at first. Maybe he was trying to help Nagisa study? Studying with me in the library only goes so far. Or maybe he was helping Nagisa deal with some more personal matters? I never expected those personal matters to be forced "special favors" in exchange for good grades. I never expected to catch him after school that day disheveled on the school rooftop with tears streaming down his face. I never expected him to actually go through with it. He had mentioned it once or twice but he always laughed it off as a joke. He wasn't joking, and I'm just lucky I made it up there in time to pull him back over the ledge.
I held him closer that day than I ever had before. I held him and we both cried, which was rare because we never did that in public, especially not in front of a crowd. I still remember all the bastards that crowded at the bottom of the building encouraging him to jump, and I remember the satisfying crack of their skulls against my fists as I dislocated their jaws. So yeah, maybe I'm a bit "too violent" or "dangerous" but I have my reasons.
I've never been one to respect authority, and I've always hated rules. E class hasn't changed that. I still disrespect authority, hell, I'm constantly trying to kill my teacher, and that's encouraged. I'm encouraged to be who I am. With e class, I'm allowed to be me. So I make a point of being there early for every single class and staying late to study assassination. I used to skip class all the time, and I'll admit I'm no stellar student, but e class makes it all worthwhile.
Something about Korosensei and Karasuma make e class feel different. They respect us, treat us as equals. They care about us, all of us. No hypocrisy, no lies, they've been straight up with us since the beginning.
Karasuma is hands down my favorite. When my parents are being assholes again he lets me stay a little extra after school to spar with me and listen while I vent. He understands that I need an outlet, and my outlet is violence. He doesn't shame me for it. He gives me something to hit when I need to let off some steam and a more challenging opponent when I need a distraction. When my emotions finally reach the surface he lets me scream and cry without judging me.
Prior to e class I had only really cried a few times in my life. My father always told me crying was a sign of weakness, and I refused to be weak. Nagisa is the exception. Something about him makes me feel safe enough to feel things.
Emotions are something I suppress. I put everything in a box, lock it with chains and destroy the key, dump it in the ocean and destroy any evidence the box ever existed. There are only two people I've ever felt safe enough around to keep that box open. Nagisa was the first, and now Karasuma has joined his ranks.
Maybe it's because he isn't a teacher. He's a detective, an assassin, and a total badass. Regardless, He always knows what to do.
So I'm sitting outside his office on a Monday afternoon waiting for him to show up despite knowing he's been gone all day. I don't know what my goal here is, but I'm determined to see him, so I'm going to sit here until he comes back, even if it takes all night.
