He's gone. He's gone and it hurts. It hurts because he shouldn't be. He had so much life left to live and he was robbed of it. It hurts because I'll never be able to ruffle his soft green hair or count his obnoxious freckles. Gone from the world is that annoying bright voice again as he waves hello or the stupid soft murmur of his mumbling as he leaves the world behind. I'll never hear the name "Kacchan" again, or watch him talk about heroes for hours on end.There will be no one left to scream at. No one left who can tolerate all my rage. There's no more screaming. No more mumbling. No more noise. It's so quiet now. Too quiet.
Auntie comes over a lot these days. She can't stand to look at Izuku's empty room. She can't stand the thought of him actually being gone. She can't take it, but that doesn't change the fact that she doesn't have a choice. He's gone. He's not coming back. He's not coming back...
He's not.
He's gone....
Gone...
Gone..
Why? Why him? Of all people why did it have to be him?
Why did he have to die without saying goodbye? Why did I let him die without appologizing for my shitty actions.
_Option 1- burial- _
Why did I let him sacrifice himself for me when I know that I'm the one that should be in that coffin. I'm the one that should be laid out on snow-white silken sheets in a suit and tie with a face caked in makeup to try and bring life back to my pale frame. It should be me. Why couldn't it be me...
The clumps of blood that stained his green hair are gone. His corpse washed clean, free from the debris that killed him. He's still pale, but the red embalming fluid gives some life back to his face. If you squint, from a distance it almost looks like he's sleeping. He looks peaceful. Too peaceful.
He's still smiling.
The same sick sadistic grin that stained his lips the day he died is plastered on his face.
—-
I will never be able to unsee that smile.
I will never be able to rid myself of the ghost of his tears and joy. He will haunt me til the day I die.
I thought that was metaphorical at first.. I was just being dramatic. I didnt mean it. I was going through my shitty hamlet phase, all that emo "to be or not to be" shit. I was that Edgar Allan Poe edge lord mother fucker when I first saw him. It was in my dreams, but he spoke so clearly.
"Hello Kacchan."
"Deku?"
"Miss me?"
"Yes." I cried.
"More than anything"
"Awwww, kacchan actually cares"
"Of course I care nerd. Youre my best friend'
"No... you.. That has to be a lie"
"It's not. Do you know how bad it hurts to know you're gone? To know that you're never coming back? It's breaking me. I can't sleep at night because all I can see is your fucking blood coated smile. Do you know what that's like? To see your best friend die every time you close your eyes? It's not fucking funny. It hurts like hell. SO why? Why did you do it? I needed you damnit!"
"Kacchan I-"
"Did you even think about how devastated Auntie Inko would be if you died? She's a wreck, Deku. Your death has destroyed her. She can barely even speak most days without devolving into a fit of sobs and screams. She's lost it, and Mom is barely holding herself together. You hurt them. You hurt me. I can barely force myself to walk to school. Staring at your empty desk... It does things to me. Things I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. You might have been the one that died, but you killed us all in the end."
" I never meant to hurt you"
"Well you should have thought of that before you went and got yourself killed"
" I couldn't just sit there and let you die!"
"Why NOT! WE BOTH KNOW I WAS THE ONE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE THAT DAY! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME?!"
"Because your life is worth more than mine."
"NO! NO IT'S NOT"
"YES IT IS! YOu... you don't understand. Your death means more than mine.
"You know.. The news has picked up on your story. You're kinda famous. I just wish you were here to see it. You've started a movement, Deku."
" really?"
"Yeah.. You've inspired some changes in hero society. It's controversial as hell, but its progress.... They want to make a memorial in your honor. People have started lighting candles by the street corner where you died. Your story really inspired some people."
"Oh."
" Y'know, I met a quirkless boy the other day after an interview. He asked me if I knew you."
"What did you say"
"I said you were my best friend, even when I didn't deserve it."
"and the kid?"
"He said he wanted to be a hero just like you someday."
"Really?"
"Yeah.. you've made quite the impression. They're blaming All Might. You had the situation under control before he showed up. They're calling for more accountability from heroes, starting with Endeavor. Apparently, he was abusing his family. You've helped a lot of people. I just wish you were here to see it."
" I'm here now aren't I?"
"Yeah I guess, but you're not real. You're just an illusion. This is just a dream. I'll wake up in the morning and you'll be gone and I'll forget this ever happened."
"What if I told you I could come back"
"I would say it's bull shit and be pissed at you for taunting me like that" \
"But what if I really could?"
"Then I'd want you back obviously"
"Ok. Go visit my grave at the cemetery tomorrow night. I have something to show you.."
" Fine.. This better be worth it."
" I promise it will be"
