It didn't take long for Izuku to remember that secrets were a double-edged sword. He had known what that was like, his entire existence had been a lie the second he stepped foot in UA. This shouldn't have been any different, but it was different. It was so different. Hiding emotional pain is one thing, physical pain another. He could do both. He had done both. He should have been able to handle this, but he just couldn't. He was breaking. Maybe it was the research he had done on his condition, the realization that this disease was fatal, or maybe it was that this time he was alone. Before he had had All Might and his Mom. Now All Might couldn't know and his mom... Izuku doesn't like remembering that. It had been almost a year but he wasn't over it. He doesn't think he'll ever be. Not like it matters now since he'll be joining her soon.
Double-edged sword- that was the best way to describe it.
It had practically chopped his social life to pieces. How can you be truly present when you're constantly worrying about keeping up an exhausting facade?
---
Every day he plastered a smile on his face, his laughter ringing hollow in his ears. He watched his classmates from a distance, studying their interactions with bittersweet longing. He witnessed their laughter, their camaraderie, and their unwavering support for each other. It both warmed his heart and fueled the anguish within him.
He watched as Uraraka and Iida shared a lighthearted conversation, their voices filled with genuine affection. Kirishima and Katsuki engaged in their usual banter, the sparks of their friendship igniting the air. And Todoroki, with his calm and composed demeanor, seemed to anchor them all with his mere presence.
It was in those moments that Izuku's heart ached the most, for he knew he would never truly be a part of their laughter or their bonds. The weight of his secret had erected an impenetrable barrier, isolating him from the very connections he cherished.
As he observed his friends, a kaleidoscope of emotions danced behind his eyes. He yearned to reach out to them, to share his burden and find solace in their arms. But the fear of shattering their world, the fear of becoming a burden, held him back.
"I can't burden them," he whispered to himself, his voice laced with both determination and sorrow. "They deserve to live their lives without this heavy weight on their shoulders. I will be their pillar of strength, even if it breaks me."
Izuku clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms as he fought against the storm of emotions threatening to consume him. He longed to let out a cry of despair, to release the anguish that simmered just beneath the surface. But he swallowed it down, pushing it deep within the recesses of his being.
His shoulders sagged, the weight of his secret seemingly magnified by the distance he had created. Loneliness enveloped him like a suffocating blanket, squeezing the air from his lungs. The tears he held back threatened to spill over, his resolve threatening to crumble.
At that moment, Izuku questioned his decision. Was his choice to shoulder the burden alone truly heroic? Or was it simply an act of self-inflicted martyrdom? The line between sacrifice and self-destruction blurred in the depths of his despair.
But amidst the turmoil, a spark of determination flickered within Izuku's eyes. He couldn't allow himself to be consumed by self-doubt. The strength he had exhibited time and again surged within him, reminding him of the hero he aspired to be.
"No," he said, his voice quivering but filled with determination. "I can't let doubt consume me. I chose this path, and I will walk it to the end. My friends... they deserve to live their lives without this shadow hanging over them."
With renewed resolve, Izuku straightened his back and wiped away the traces of his internal struggle. The weight of his secret pressed down upon him, but he carried it with an unwavering determination. Though the darkness threatened to consume him, he would remain their guiding light, even if it meant sacrificing his well-being.
—————————————-
Todoroki couldn't help but notice something was wrong. This isn't the Izuku he knew. Izuku Midoriya was sunshine incarnate, an endless ray of light that could brighten any day. He had his days where clouds came to haunt him but it was never like this. It was like the light had turned off. He looked panicked, his smile was more of a grimace. It didn't take long for Izuku to build up his usual facade, but anyone who knew him could see it. Something was very wrong with Izuku Midoriya.
He let it pass at first. Maybe it's an off day or an off week. It's better not to pry, he thought. Then it continued. It went on like this for weeks and most people dropped it. This is just who Midoriya is now. But Todoroki remembered. He refused to let this go. So one day after school he confronted him.
"Midoriya? Are you alright?"
"What? Oh.. yeah, I'm fine, Todoroki. How are you?"
"I'm ok... are you sure you're ok, you don't look too good. It's concerning."
And Izuku didn't look good. He looked pale like the life had been drained from him, a dead man walking. And he was, but he couldn't let Todoroki know that. It would crush him. So he lied.
"Yeah, just a bit tired. I didn't sleep well last night. I was up too late studying" Izuku stuttered with a nervous laugh, "sorry for making you worry"
