Beautiful Mistake [a Roman Reigns story]

3 I don't want to hear it

Lily POV

 Roman stepped aside and let me in. I crossed my arms over my chest, determined to get this over with as quickly as possible. That was also the reason why I wanted to meet in his room. I could just leave whenever I wanted and didn't have to try to convince Roman to leave. Or at least that's what I told myself.

"All right, Roman, you wanted to talk. Then talk, please." I said softly as Roman followed me into the room and sat down on the bed. I, on the other hand, remained standing because I had no intention of staying near him any longer than necessary. That's how the whole mess began. Being close to him called for trouble.

"Lily... I know what we did is really... really horrible, but that doesn't change the fact that it feels right every time. And believe me, it eats me up inside. Yet I can't stay away from you. I-I tried... and you tried to stay away from me, but we failed miserably every time. And as awful as it sounds, you're the only thing on my mind. Not my wife or my kids. Just you! It makes me sick that it's like this, but I can't help it.

Believe me when I tell you, I've tried. I have tried so hard to get you out of my system. I always thought I was headstrong, but every time I see you, that strength flies out the window. I can't take it any more, Lily! I can't stay away from you any longer, that's why I've made a decision." he said.

While Roman was talking, he got up from the bed and stood right in front of me.

I thought I knew what he was going to say, but I didn't want to hear it. What we did was unforgivable enough. My guilt was weighed on me enough. I couldn't add any more weight to it. Being the cause of marriage failure was bad enough in itself, if it came to that. But to take away a child's father, to break up his family, that would break me for good. I couldn't let that happen.

Go, Lily! Leave this room before he could say something we would both regret forever.

"Whatever you want to say, Roman, I don't want to hear it. Don't say it. Please... I've already become a person I never wanted to be, don't make it worse. I don't want that. I don't want to be the reason your family falls apart. We'll just forget what happened between us. It was a mistake. Let's... just leave it at that. Whatever is or was between us is over!" I whispered and sniffled softly.

At that point, tears started streaming down my face. I was about to wipe them away, but Roman was faster. He held my face in his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs.

"Please Lily... don't cry. Give us a chance! I know you feel the same way I do. We can make it work. Please! he whispered, his voice raspy.

And there they were, those big brown puppy eyes I couldn't resist. But I had to do it this time. This wasn't just about me. Not only about the two of us. It was too much, it was more than I could bear.

"No, Ro, there is no us. It's over. I'm gonna go now." I said.

I had tried to sound resolute, but failed all the way. I turned towards the door when Roman grabbed my hand and stopped me.

"Lil, I understand you. I really do. And I respect your decision, although I wish you felt differently. But before you go... can I at least get a kiss good-bye?" he replied as he turned me around to face him.

Oh, that look. I thought about it for a minute and decided there was nothing wrong with one last kiss. So I leaned in. But of course it wasn't just a kiss. If it was the last time, we could enjoy it to the fullest.

The next morning I rolled out of bed before sunrise and away from Roman's arms. I knew that as long as we kept seeing each other, we'd always be weak. So in that moment I made the decision to leave my old life behind and start over. We could both live in peace. Roman with his wife and children. I would live alone. Because deep in my heart I knew that no matter how hard I tried or how many miles I'd put between us... I would always love him.