One-Shot Collection: L Lawliet x Reader

✞ The confession ✞

The day you had been waiting for had finally arrived: you were coming of age and could finally leave the orphanage.

You had no idea what you would do with your life, but it was exciting. All your friends who had left were doing quite well, and there was no reason why it should be any different with you. You were known as the second smartest, after L, of course. You and he were quite close, although you only saw him when he visited, and he rarely contacted you to ask your opinion on a case. Anyway, he called you his only friend, even if in your eyes he treated you exactly the same as the rest of the kids at the orphanage.

However, the occasion called for you to check if it was true. You and your friends had a tradition: to have your first drinking binge the night before you left the orphanage. As there was no one who could help you follow that tradition, you decided to leave the responsibility to L, who had arrived at the orphanage to talk to his successor just in time. You didn't tell him anything so he couldn't stop you, so instead you programmed a message to be sent to his computer in an hour, so he could come and get you.

You tried for the first time one of those strong drinks your best friend had told you so much about, trying a bit of everything to see what you liked best. You took a shot of vodka, of tequila, of whisky, of brandy. In the end, you didn't end up liking anything until you had the idea of pouring the liquor into your milkshake. Big mistake. You were already a bit drunk, but since you couldn't feel the alcohol in your drink, it went up much faster than usual. Luckily the time had flown by and L had already seen your message.

He walked into your room, stopping to admire it rather wistfully. You had already packed your things, which made all the more real for him, who, though had already left the orphanage, hadn't realised how much time had passed, nor at what point you had gone from being the little girl who followed him everywhere to this woman.

He found you wobbling in your desk chair, as you giggled into nothingness.

"(Y/N)?" he closed the door behind him, sighing as he realised that your message had not been a joke, "What do you think you're doing?

"Lawli, you're here. I thought you would abandon me," you smiled awkwardly, trying to get to your feet before stumbling and being held by his arms.

"I can still do it," he helped you sit up in your bed. "I can't believe you're actually drunk."

"I'm an adult now, Lawli. I can do whatever I want."

"Yeah, that's true. But if you think drinking is something you do just because you're an adult then I'm worried about how you're going to survive out there."

"Hey, don't underestimate me," you puffed out your rosy cheeks. "You know I'm not like that, what's wrong with having a little fun?"

"There are other ways to have fun, (Y/N)."

"With you? No, you're too serious, and you ruled out sex a long time ago," you pouted.

L's eyes widened in surprise. You'd never used that kind of language around him before. The very word "sex" sounded strange on your lips.

"I've never done such a thing, you're babbling."

"You mean you would?" You smiled sideways, flirtatiously, leaning your head back on your pillow as you struck a pose that in your mind was sensual, but you had barely moved.

"Put your perversions aside. I will never let you drink again."

He turned away, angry indeed, but he did it so you couldn't see the blush on his cheeks. You didn't know it, but he was in love with you, and of course, he was physically attracted to you too. While he knew you weren't serious, you were actually starting to incite him a little.

"But you haven't answered me yet, baby," you stood up and hugged him from behind, leaning your face against his tense muscles.

"Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't," he sighed. "Especially not with you in this state. You've really disappointed me."

He'd never said anything like that to you before, even though you'd had some pretty severe fights in the past. You pulled away from him, your face hot and your hands shaking. You sat on your bed and brought both hands to your face, covering yourself so he couldn't see you crying, but your sobs were all that could be heard in the room.

L felt a prick in his heart. He couldn't believe he had made you cry. He had beaten every man who had made you cry before, and now he was the one hurting you. He felt a lump in his throat, turning around to approach you, raising a hand with the intention of touching you, not quite sure how you would react. But he didn't dare.

"I didn't mean it..." You didn't say anything back, you couldn't, you were still sobbing. "Please forgive me."

As you remained silent, he sat down next to you on the bed, putting his arm around your shoulders gently, as if he would break you at the slightest touch. He pulled you close to him, stroking your back, passing you a handkerchief from the box on your desk. You wiped your face and blew your nose, avoiding his eyes.

"It's not fair," you whispered, "All these years I've been patient and understanding with you... I don't understand why you don't love me as I love you, Lawliet."

He wasn't used to dealing with his feelings, much less ones as strong as the ones he had for you. He had no idea how to respond to what you had just said. He wasn't going to tell you that he loved you for the first time while you were totally drunk, he didn't want you to forget it or experience it as a vague memory rather than a clear confession on his part. However, he couldn't just keep quiet. You were practically confessing and even admitting that there was a sexual attraction on your part to him. He would definitely use that information to tease you once you felt better, but in the meantime, he had to try to comfort you until the effects of the alcohol wore off.

"(Y/N)," he whispered in your ear. "Say my name again."

"Lawliet?"

"All right, one more time, without asking."

"Lawliet."

He smiled, laying you gently on the bed, lying down beside you as he settled you so that you were face to face with him, caressing your cheeks.

"You're the only person who's allowed to call me that," he looked down at your lips, smiling as he moved closer. "And the only woman who knows it. That's more than anyone else can say."

"Yes, but what good is that to me if I mean nothing to you," you complained, pursing your lips.

"Just because I'm not very expressive doesn't mean you're nothing," that was the most common mistake people who were close to him made. "Why do you think I came here this morning? Did you really think it was to see how Near had progressed in the case I left him?"

"Well, you never come to visit me."

"I do, but I never tell you directly," he admitted. "I'm always looking for an excuse so I can come. I knew today was your last day at the orphanage and I didn't want to risk never seeing you again. I wanted to say goodbye."

"But I don't want to say goodbye," you closed your eyes, sleepily.

"Then don't," he stroked your hair. But you didn't say anything, you were falling asleep. "We'll talk about this in the morning, okay?"

He kept looking at your face, tempted to give you a soft kiss on the lips. But if he hadn't told you he loved you, he wouldn't kiss you. You were too special to him to do that to you. Instead, he placed a soft kiss on your forehead, hugging you for a few seconds before pulling away and thinking about what you had said.

Sure, he was attracted to you, but he'd never imagined anything like that actually happening. He wasn't sure you felt that way before now, and he wasn't entirely comfortable imagining what it would be like to have sex with you. However, having your body so close, he couldn't think of anything else. Your figure, though not entirely marked under your clothes, caught his attention and made him look at your ass and breast, frankly relieved that you had decided to confess to him now that you were both of age.

"I would do it, (Y/N)," he smiled, remembering the sound of his name on your lips. "If the time was right, and you agreed, of course, I would. I can't think of another woman to do it with."

And though you listened, you thought it was only your dreams. And indeed, it was only a dream, a dream come true.