(DISCONTINUED) Hatred?

13: "I wanna fucking die!"

A/N

As you can tell from the title there will be some things relating to suicide, nothing happens they're just thought though. I just wanted to let you know.

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You look in the mirror, all ready for a new day of school, somewhere where you saw Hyeon-ju weak and sad on the ground of one of your classes. You were not excited to go to school today. You were just hoping she's safe and nothing bad happened over night.

You walk out of the apartment not even saying anything to anyone on the way out even though Joon-yeong and Wu-Jin were asking if you could drive them to school. You like how your parents decided to buy you a car instead of your goodie two shoes twin brother, but sometimes it gets annoying cause he always asks to take your car and if you can give him a lift. Sure you could do that but sometimes you don't feel like it ya know?

You hop in your car and buckle up before starting the car and leaning your head back on the head rest. You groan loudly before driving away. You stop at a red light and realise that Gwi-nam lives near to where you are so you decide to call him. He soon picks up and You're still at the red light.

"Hey I'm near yours, do you want me to pick you up for school?" You ask and it's silent for a bit until he answers.

"Uh sure, I'll wait outside for you" Gwi-nam says and You nod even though he can't see me. "Cool, I'm on my way" You say as he hangs up, doing the job that You can't do because the light just turned green.

You turn the corner and head to Gwi-Nam's house. You arrive to see him leaning against a wall outside his apartment building. He hops in the passenger seat and You drives away. Once You park at school you turns the car off before freezing just staring at the school terrified because of how you saw your best friend last night.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. I'm sure she'll get saved by someone" Gwi-nam says rubbing Your back trying to calm you down the best he can. You sniffle before looking over at him.

"I hope so" you say and he nods before you both get out of the car and start heading into school. You walk straight to your first class, Gwi-nam walking you to it before hugging you goodbye and going to his own class.

You sit there in your desk just staring down at the desk, seconds away from crying but You couldn't otherwise You would have way too much attention on yourself and You can't do that, it's overwhelming.

The bell goes and Miss park walks in saying good morning to everyone. "Does anyone know where Hyeon-ju is?" She asks noticing that everyone was here but Hyeon-ju. You look down not saying anything while Joon-yeong speaks.

"Me and a few others cleaned the science room with her yesterday but I haven't seen her since" he says and miss park nods before looking at you. "Yu-jin do you know?" She asks and and you look up at her shrugging.

"Same as Joon-yeong, haven't seen her since then" you say and she nods before giving everyone work and walking to the science classroom to ask Mr Lee if he's seen her. She really wanted to know where she was and not gonna lie You would too if You were her teacher. She would be your favourite student.

You sit there staring at the work, asking yourself how you're ever going to do this when you're in this mood, sad and frustrated. "Hey, you alright?" Nam-ra asks, tapping your shoulder from behind you. You look back at her and nod.

"What's wrong?" She asks and you shrug. "I just saw a sad animal video and can't get over it" you lie chuckling a bit and she nods. "Remember if you ever need to talk to someone I'm here" she says and you nod before turning back around looking at the empty chair that Hyeon-ju normally sits in.

You look back at the work and start doing it groaning quietly at how dumb you feel today. Miss park comes in shortly after and stands at the board starting to help everyone with the questions.

It feels like ages that she's talking, and it all sound like the same work. Just as you've calmed done a little more, Hyeon-ju stumbles in before falling on the floor. Everyone gasps and Miss park rushes over to her along with a few others, aka you and her other friends.

"Miss park? Yu-Jin?" She mumbles and you both nod. "That's us" miss park says and you nod again. "T-the science teacher" she mumbles, "he-he gave me a shot, h-he tried to k-kill me" she mumbles again making tears fall down my face and Land on the ground beside her.

"We've Fr to take you to the infirmary" Miss park says, "can you stand?" She asks and Hyeon-ju mumbles. "I'll carry her Miss" Su-hyeok says and she nods. Su-hyeok chucks Hyeon-ju on his back and On-jo and I-sak hold her from behind making sure she's stable and not going to fall off.

"Nam-ra you're in charge, don't tell anybody anything until we have confirmed the facts" Miss park says as Nam-ra nods. They all run out of the room while you stand up still crying. You walk back to your desk and put your hands in your head just letting it all out.

Joon-yeong who was also crying walks over and sits in the chair next to you, hugging you, not saying nothing just hugging, supporting you. What feels like hours pass until I-ask walks into the room before sitting down at her desk making a whole bunch of people stand around her asking what was going on.

I-ask explains everything and you realise it's almost exactly like what happened in the walking dead, a show. She's turned into a zombie/monster. You cry harder knowing that she'll never be fixed and the world is going to fall apart all because you didn't wake her up before leaving.

This was all your fault, you didn't wake her up and now the whole world is going to pay the consequences, all because of you, you worthless piece of shit. You fucked everything up just for a simple little joke. You're a fucking dumb ass. You don't deserve friends, family or a boyfriend. Just fucking did you stupid shit head.

You let your thoughts take over you as you jut continue crying. You just wanted the pain and thoughts to disappear. You stop crying and look at the window beside you. Joon-yeong realises this and his eyes go wide.

"No Yu-Jin" he says and you look up at him before standing up quickly and opening the window. Everyone starts to yell at you telling you not too as Wu-Jin, Dae-su and Joon-yeong hold you back.

"Let me go! I wanna fucking die!" You scream as over people look at you in terror also telling you not to jump, probably not because they care about you probably just because they don't wanna see someone commit suicide

"Let go of me you shit heads!" You scream again trying to get out of their grip as hard as possible. You manage to grab ahold of the window sill and try to pull yourself closer to the window. But you're not the strongest so it doesn't really work out for you, especially because there are three strong boys holding you back.

You give up and just fall to the floor crying non stop loudly, pushing your sharp nail into the side of your hand wanting pain to be all over you. You didn't deserve you feel safe, feel free and no pain.

You deserved to die.