My week home was a good one. While of course I still thought a fair amount about the drama of Aregano and pondered on my various feelings, spending time with my family and Lydia reminded me of the core people who loved me, and that no matter what happened in the future regarding my love life, things would be okay.
Harry had texted me wanting to go out again, though I informed him that I was out of the country. He seemed a bit put out that I hadn't told him I was leaving, but he continued to text me every so often throughout the week. Coleman texted me once to ask me when I was coming back since 'Calista wanted to know' (though she very well could have asked me herself), and the the day before I was to head back, Coleman texted me again to confirm the details of my return. He wanted to know which flight I was taking, if I was flying first-class or economy, whether or not I had a layover, and what time I was supposed to get back to Aregano. He promised to make some arrangements so that I could go through customs more quickly.
"He's attentive," Lydia said, looking over my shoulder. I sat with my back against the side of my bed, and she was perched on it, looking like a hawk staring down at its prey.
I glanced back at her. "He is."
"I'll bet he picks you up at the airport."
"No he won't."
"I bet he will."
I gave her the side eye. "Don't put such ideas in my head."
"Why not?" she cocked her head to the side and smiled coyly.
"Because then I'll have something to be disappointed about."
"Oh, come on," she chided, placing her hands on my shoulders. "Life is all about getting our hopes up!"
"And then crushed?"
"Why not expect good things?" she asked.
"I don't need imagination scenarios of Coleman picking me up from the airport in my head! That wasn't what I was expecting and now, even though I know it won't happen, a part of me is expecting it and a part of me will be disappointed!"
She sighed dramatically and flopped back onto my bed. I turned around to face her, falling back onto my elbows and forearms.
"I guess that makes sense," Lydia said. "But Cass, I feel like you've become so jaded as of late."
"Can you blame me?" I asked.
"I get it. But you have to be hopeful. You have a lot of opportunities!"
"You act like my life is all sunshine and rainbows, but it's not. I'm stressed about going back. My life sucks!"
Lydia clenched her jaw, and her eyes seemed to frown. She was normally jubilant, but on occasion, I would strike a nerve. "At least you have a life," she mumbled.
I didn't say anything.
"Cassie, I don't want to make it all about me...but...all I do is like, study. And work. And I don't have much time leftover after that. There is no interested in me."
"That can't be true," I said, sitting up and crossing my legs. "You're so pretty. I'm sure there's someone—"
"Okay, yeah. There are some guys. But they're usually, you know, awkward and unattractive. And I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person to say that but there you have it. There is no one who I am even a little interested in in my life." She looked at me with her big eyes. "I know you've been hurt. I wish that wasn't the case. I wish these men were better. And if you don't want to pursue them or be with them, then I get it. Coleman is really confusing and that's frustrating. But at least you have something. You've had trials, yes, but at least you've been making steps towards someone. As that one poem says, you may have lost, but at least you have loved. Isn't that better than having never loved anyone at all?"
Lydia slid off the bed to join me on the floor. "Your life doesn't suck. It can be difficult, but it doesn't suck. And you are confident and strong and beautiful. You'll find someone you love who will appreciate that about you. I am sure of it."
I felt ashamed. I'd been complaining more than my fair share about my life. Heartbreak had a way of clouding everything over for me, and in my frustration and confusion about everything, it was easy to paint everything as grey when it really wasn't. As I looked at Lydia, I wondered to myself: would I really give it all up to have had yet another uneventful eight months of my life? Would I choose to have not met all the people I'd gotten to know over the past eight months? To go forward without knowing anyone, without the hope of any of them?
"Be hopeful, Cassie," Lydia said. "You never know what might happen!"
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The following evening, I got off the plane and was just leaving the loading tunnel when a man in a black suit and a security badge approached me.
"Miss Carmichael?" he asked.
I'd almost forgotten the Areganan accents! It had been strange going back to the states and hearing everyone's American accents all the time, but I'd gotten used to it once more.
"Yes?" I asked him.
"You have been pre-approved for customs, so if you'd like, I can escort you more quickly through the airport."
"Oh, thank you!" I said, smiling. "That's really nice of you! And, my suitcase that's still being unloaded?"
He smiled politely. "It will be delivered to the palace, ma'am."
"Wonderful, thank you."
As we skipped whatever process I would have had to go through, I was grateful to Prince Coleman for arranging this easy reentrance into Aregano, though I couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment that he wasn't here.
It was a stupid thought anyways, LYDIA. I thought somewhat angrily, though I didn't want to feel annoyed at her on account of feeling bad for complaining so much when I really did lead a fairly charmed life. A year ago I would have been working on my upcoming finals—a thought that was rather dreadful.
I was brought to the front of the airport, and another man approached me, only this one wore a chauffer hat. I recognized him as one of the palace chauffeurs.
"Hello, Harvey," I said.
"Good evening, Miss Carmichael. Your ride is just outside."
"Wonderful, thank you," I said. We walked out of the airport, and a sleek black limousine was waiting for me. Harvey opened the door, and I sat inside to see Prince Coleman sitting across from me.
