donald: caw caw, motherfuckers
__________________________
forrest: I have a problem.
wolf: If it's harder than 2+2, I can't help.
__________________________
*The Squad is playing Minecraft together*
donald: Ooh, a village! You know what that means!
forrest: Hostile takeover?
jake: Genocide?
jimmy: Steal everything!
donald: No, I meant-
kingsley: I didn't know we would fight the ender dragon this early! A village worth of beds isn't enough!
wolf: WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING?!?!
donald: ...I was going to say move into the village and become the mayors...
kingsley: Ohhhh! That sounds like a better idea.
wolf: Agreed.
__________________________
Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
jake: I choose to waive that right!
jake: *screaming*
__________________________
wolf: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.
__________________________
Kidnapper: I have your partner.
jimmy: What? I don't have a partner...
Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?
jimmy: Oh my god, you have wolf.
__________________________
wolf: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.
kingsley: Why?
wolf, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.
__________________________
jake: You believe me?
kingsley: jake, you're the last good person on this planet. I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
__________________________
jake: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.
jake: *cuts piece of cake*
jimmy: ...Can I have some?
jake: Cake is for talkers.
__________________________
jimmy: I give up. I am so tired.
donald: Get the emergency supply!
forrest: *carries wolf and places them in front of jimmy*
wolf: *smiles*
jimmy: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET'S GOOO
__________________________
wolf: The first time I ever got upset in front of donald, he put his arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask him if he was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.
