donald: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
forrest: Okay, but what is updog?
jake: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
jimmy: No, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
wolf: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
kingsley: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
donald: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
jimmy: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
jake: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
forrest: What's a henway??
donald: Oh, about five pounds.
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*when the Squad drops food*
donald: Eh, oh well.
jake: FIVE-SECOND RULE!
forrest: FUCK!
kingsley: *just gets more food*
jimmy: *drops to their knees and mourns the food*
wolf: *eats the food off the ground*
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jake: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase?
kingsley: I accidentally fell down.
jimmy: DONALD PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay THEIR part of our rent!
forrest: kingsley bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money.
wolf: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by forrest.
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*after the Squad has been separated for a few years*
wolf: So what have you been up to recently?
forrest: Leading a revolution with jake.
wolf: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.
forrest: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!
wolf: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? kingsley?
forrest: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. jimmy?
wolf: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. donald?
forrest: Cult leader.
wolf: Yeah, that sounds about right.
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kingsley, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
wolf: Hey.
donald: Hi.
forrest: Hello.
jake: Hey!
